Until We Get There
by PoetDameron
Summary: [Soulmate AU] Running away from their own wedding is the craziest thing Hyde and Jackie have ever done together. But the tug he feels at his heart when realizing she doesn't want to marry him? The worst.
1. Gifted

**A/N:** Hello, everyone. This fic is pretty especial to me. It costed me a lot to write, I bleed this story for way too long and I almost ruined it. It also marks my tenth story in the t70s fandom and I'm very happy that. Hope you like it.

Especial thanks to MistyMountainHop for the amazing beta job she did on this fic, it wouldn't exist without her help and support. And thank you to jessasacklers who spends long nights awake just to hear me banter about this fic.

This work was written for the Zenmasters Anthology Project 2017, Soulmates Theme. Prompt: Telepathy – "On some days, a person can hear her or his soulmate's thoughts".

* * *

 _November 28, 1983._

Hyde escaped to the diner's bathroom, jazz against his back, but neither the old music nor the door blocked Jackie's words. Her voice was inside his skull.

Most times, he could avoid following her thoughts. He'd been hearing them for years, ever since he learned what this whole soulmate mess was about. But ignoring the way her voice sounded tonight, so affected and out of place, was tough.

He went to a sink and splashed water on his face. Driving for hours wasn't how he'd planned on starting his twenty-third birthday, but he'd runaway from his family and friends like he always knew he would.

After splashing his face some more, he left the bathroom and gave the diner a once-over. The place wasn't quite empty. A typical three-in-the-morning crowd was here. An old, probably drunk, trucker sat at the food counter talking to the diner's clearly disinterested owner. The owner answered the chatter with monosyllabic responses while stealing glances at his watch. Three tattooed bikers, meanwhile, were in a booth, practically snoring on their empty plates.

Hyde pushed open the front door, and Jackie's voice shot through his brain: _"You have to understand. Just understand me for once in your damn life!"_

" _Stop, stop, stop,"_ he said inside his head. Her mind was too loud tonight, and he couldn't do anything about it.

All people were born with the ability to hear the thoughts of their supposed soulmate, a person chosen by God or whoever the hell sat down naked in the clouds. For most, that telepathic moment happened just once, during childhood. If a person was lucky or smart enough, he'd remember what he heard or write it down to find his soulmate later in life.

Hyde, though, wasn't like most.

The first time he heard Jackie's thoughts, he'd been around seven. She was repeating her middle name like a prayer, and he'd laughed and mentioned it to his ma. Edna didn't react, however, except to look at him funny, as if waiting for him to say something else about it.

He didn't. The incident slipped to the back of his memory, but the second time he heard Jackie … that was weird.

She'd filled in the blanks for him later, like how her grandma had thrown her a birthday party with kids she didn't know and adults offering her pitying glances. Jackie hadn't understood the pity at the time. She was too young, but neither of her parents were at the party. They hadn't celebrated her birthday with her at all that year.

Her confusion and sadness invaded Hyde's mind. He told his ma everything he heard Jackie think. Unfortunately Bud was there, too. Before everything went to shit, he was always there, and he made sure Hyde knew it.

Outside the diner, Jackie's voice reached his ears, not just his mind. "Mom?" she said into a payphone. The phone was on the same block as the diner, only a few feet away. She'd probably called her mom, Pam, to let her know she was okay.

"Well, he's a gentleman," Jackie murmured, but her thoughts screamed his name. Pam must've talked crap about him. "It was my decision, Mom. Not his."

This whole mess really was Jackie's doing. He'd gone along with it, but suspicion tugged at his chest, and he didn't like it. Her doubts—or whatever was driving her—hadn't entered his skull. That was a new experience. Maybe her decision had been a thoughtless impulse, nothing substantial for him to hear anyway. If that was the case, then she'd done good by calling off their wedding.

"Look, I'm fine, and—" She sighed into the phone. Apparently, Pam had interrupted her, but Instead of listening, Jackie removed the phone from her ear and slowly returned it to its cradle. "Stupid cow."

Seeing her hang up on her mom was another new experience. It was almost as odd as her running away with him, the man she'd just refused to marry.

She turned away from the payphone, gaze on the ground. "Hey," he called to her, but she didn't look at him. "Jackie?"

She muttered something. Hyde moved towards her, hoping to hear what was she saying, but she didn't repeat herself. She hugged his waist when he was close enough and laid her head on his chest. She wasn't crying, but she wasn't calm either.

He closed his arms around her. Her back was tense, the muscles stiff as cement, and her thoughts were a complete mess.

Her mind went blank a breath later, sending white noise into his head. He finally got a chance to separate his thoughts from hers, as he learned to do as a kid. He'd always hated having the Gift, but after his relationship with Jackie started, having it didn't suck as much.

Right now, though, it was killing him.

"Let's go," she said.

"Where?"

"I don't care."

That didn't sound like her—in any kind of way.

But he knew someone with those same thoughts, someone whose favorite place had always been anywhere but here. Himself. But she couldn't hear him, hadn't since she was a little girl. She'd lost the ability to know what was in his mind.

And that loss scared him more than his own mind being connected to hers since birth.

 **Until We Get There**

 **I. Gifted**

The first time Hyde ever heard his soulmate, he was a kid, and he hadn't realized the thoughts weren't his. The endless litany of _"Beulah, Beulah, Beulah,_ " didn't sound strange to him since he was watching cartoons. It blended into the sound effects, making him laugh.

The second time his soulmate's thoughts broke into his skull, though, they didn't make him laugh. They took on a voice unmistakably distinct from his: female and crying about her mommy and daddy not coming to her birthday party. Hyde had been in his room, playing with plastic army men, and the thoughts he heard were definitely not from his eight-year-old mind.

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he shouted and raced from his room. He found Edna in the living room, picking up Bud's empty beer bottles. He told her what he'd heard and asked if ghosts were haunting their new house.

Edna frowned at him, put the bottles down on the coffee table, and captured Bud's attention from the TV. Bud was on the couch, beer in his hand, and the bastard laughed when she relayed Hyde's story.

"Would you look at that?" Bud said. "Honey, we got a Listener!" He sipped from his beer and continued to chuckle like the whole thing was a joke. "Whose fault is it? No one in my family has the so-called Gift. … Honey?"

Hyde's neck heated up. He didn't like how his dad was talking. He usually didn't, but Bud's laughter made it so much worse, and Hyde looked at his ma for more than a frown.

"Judith has it," she said to Bud and grabbed Hyde by the shirt collar. She dragged him away from the couch. He didn't fight her. He never did when he was a kid, when his homelife wasn't as bad as it would become. "I'm going to call her," she said. "I don't know anyone else who could tell Steven about it."

"What?" Bud said, sitting up straight. "I can tell him." His gaze snapped to Hyde's. Listen, kiddo—"

But Edna yanked on Hyde's shirt and him with it, away from Bud. He hadn't realized it then, but she'd protected him from Bud's mockery. Being a Listener was for sissies, as his dad always said, and he'd turned out to be one.

A few days later, Hyde was in the backyard, helping Edna hang up clean, wet clothes to dry. "Okay, so about your aunt Judith…" she said, and he nodded. He'd been waiting for her to mention Judith again. "She's a Listener, like you."

"What's a Listener?"

"It's someone who has the gift to hear her soulmate's thoughts more than once, during her whole life."

Edna picked up the laundry basket from the grass, and he followed her as she went further down the clothesline. He needed more of an explanation, but she hung up one of his undershirts then one of her work skirts.

"Doesn't everybody hear their soulmates?" he said. In the movies and cartoons everybody did. What made him special? Hearing one's soulmate was normal.

"Yeah." She leaned toward the laundry basket but stopped at his stare. "But you have the ability to hear her whenever she's feeling strong stuff. … She must hear you, too."

His eyes widened, and his heart thudded in his ears. "She does?!"

Edna smirked, maybe at his surprise. "Sure she does. Bet you she's listening right now."

"Oh, crap!"

"Steven—language!"

She quit caring about his foul mouth a year later. Two years after that, she quit doing laundry and cooking decent food. Five years more, and she quit talking to him. She'd left Point Place with a trucker.

 **~0~**

When Jackie was a kid, her grandmother had wanted her to say her full name with pride. Jackie wrote whole notebook pages of her name— _Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart_ —while saying the name out loud. Her grandmother observed the exercise in the parlor, walking around Jackie and the coffee table with her cane.

Jackie was horrified. Her full name sounded as embarrassing as she'd feared.

Every time Beulah Burkhart appeared at the house, Jackie's mom ended up crying. They never got along, and Jackie wished she could remember or understand why. But she did remember the way the cane touched the parlor's hardwood floor and how the _thud, thud, thud_ echoed inside her head.

But Grandma wasn't always that unpleasant. Sometimes, she'd sit with Jackie on the couch and talk about Grandpa. Charles Burkhart the Fourth had been a great man. He'd died years ago, but Grandma used to hear his thoughts. Had listened to them ever since they were kids.

He found her first, like the prince rescuing the princess, and they'd been together ever since. Their courtship began before either of them knew soulmates were meant to fall in love and be happy together, forever.

At seven, Jackie had started to hear her soulmate, too. Grandma was proud of her.

"How are his thoughts?" Grandma said after one of their talks about Grandpa.

"Confusing…" Jackie said, but Grandma smiled, and Jackie realized she should've given a better answer. "I don't know which are mine and which are his."

"That's fine. We all have trouble with that."

Jackie got off the couch, thinking their conversation was over, but Grandma patted the cushion next to her. "Come back, Jacqueline. I'm going to teach you how to separate your thoughts."

"Yes, Grandma."

Jackie sat beside her again, and Grandma called for Jackie's dad to join them. He'd been smoking a cigar by the parlor's French doors, but he stubbed it out on an ashtray and sat on Grandma's other side.

"Jackie, the Gift is something the Burkharts have," Grandma said.

Daddy nodded. "Not everyone has the luck of being born with it, but that doesn't mean they don't have a soulmate."

Jackie's brows furrowed, and an ache settled in her chest. How sad that other people had to go through so much to find their soulmate while she could listen to her future husband, as her mom called him.

"Why does it happen?" she said to her dad later that night. They were in the dining room, eating dinner. He was reading a letter at the table, but he put it aside.

"No one is sure, kitten," he said. "Our brain is amazing, you see? It's said if we used its entire capacity, we could move things and discover the secrets of the universe."

Jackie laughed as her mom shook her head, but Mom was paying as much attention to Daddy as Jackie was.

He reached across the table and grasped Jackie's hand. "I know it's scary. I was certainly scared when I first heard your mother!" He and Mom laughed together, and once he calmed down, he said, "But when you meet your soulmate, it'll be exciting. It'll be a happy day."

Jackie smiled after hearing that.

In the months that followed, she realized she heard her soulmate only in moments of great emotion—when he was really happy, sad, or scared. Slowly, she got better at distinguishing his voice from her own, as her grandmother had taught her.

"But his voice won't sound like it truly does in person," Grandma had told her during one of their lessons.

Jackie frowned. "Why?"

"None of us hear our voices inside our head as we truly sound, Jacqueline."

"But why?"

"It has something to do with resonances. Now, stop asking questions and finish that repetition."

Grandma never gave satisfactory answers, but at least Daddy always asked if she'd heard something new from her future boyfriend. And when everyone in the family learned she constantly heard her soulmate's thoughts, they came to visit and brought her presents.

She asked why, and they said her having the Gift was proof of their family's virtue.

Only later in life did she find out the truth, that her family pitied her. Unlike her dad and grandmother, most of her relatives thought having the Gift was a curse. That she'd have to grow up listening to people's, _"Oh, I'm so sorry,"_ and their fake, worried looks.

But at twelve-years-old, she decided she wouldn't let her family make her feel bad. Her grandmother was right: having the Gift was a proof of real connection. And just as Grandma Beulah had found Grandpa Charles, Jackie would find her own soulmate one day.

She believed that wholeheartedly until she stopped listening.

 **~0~**

Jackie was new to Forman's basement, and she'd just claimed to be a Listener, though not so succinctly. Kelso had brought her by to meet Hyde and the rest of their friends, and she insisted Kelso was her soulmate, despite—as her claim went—the fact she'd stopped listening to his thoughts when she was eleven-years-old.

"You can do that?" Donna said. She was sitting in the lawn chair, frowning. "My God, what does that mean? People say the Gift is a sign of deeper connection. Others say it's a sign of being condemned to never be with your soulmate."

"No, it's not!" Jackie said from the couch. Kelso was beside her, and she gripped his knee.

Hyde arched an eyebrow. He should've gotten up from his chair and gone to the kitchen for a pop, for a break from this chick. But he listened to her ramble about the importance of finding one's soulmate and how beautiful having the Gift was. Her experiences as a Listener sounded legitimate enough. The rest of her story? Bullshit.

"You know, soulmates?" he said, interrupting her. "All of it's crap." His friends booed him, but he was just the messenger. The truth was the truth, and he adjusted his shades on his nose. "No, man. Think about it. You spend your whole life wondering who she is, what she's doing, and if she's gonna recognize you from one freakin' thought you had when you were kids. That way, you don't question the rest of the shit that's happening in the world."

Forman sighed and slumped next to Kelso. "Here it goes. You're in for a treat, Jackie. Let's all sit back and listen to the conspiracy theorist!"

Jackie stared at Hyde with wide eyes, as if she couldn't believe what he was saying. Did she really live in a glass cage, protected from the real world? People hating the concept of soulmates was completely normal.

"Look," he said, "what are the odds of you actually hearing some random kid when you're little?" He gestured at her. "Do you remember it? 'Cause I sure as hell don't. Forman and Donna don't, either." He pointed at Kelso. "What about you?"

"Um…" Kelso scratched his cheek, clearly thinking about it. Jackie shifted next to him on the couch. Her hand had been on Kelso's thigh, but she removed it.

Hyde grinned. This conversation was going to cause Kelso trouble this painfully idealistic chick.

"Well, yeah!" Kelso said, looking at Jackie. "She was all excited because she got a Bridal Barbie for her birthday."

Jackie placed a hand over her heart. "Oh, Michael, you're right! I got a Bridal Barbie when I was ten!"

"Wait a sec," Hyde said. "Kelso, you told me you heard your soulmate when you were around six or seven."

Donna laughed, and Hyde dug the sound of it—until she got out of the lawn chair, sat on the couch's armrest, and slid her arm around Forman's shoulders.

"The point is it doesn't matter," Hyde continued. "What if we're that we'll hear a thought that doesn't sound like us one day just so it makes us believe in this soulmate crap?"

"This is when things get interesting…" Donna murmured.

Jackie frowned. "What do you mean?"

Hyde crossed his arms over his chest. "What if it's a lie, man, and you didn't hear anyone but yourself? We've been brainwashed by TV, by our folks—by society at large—about this myth for so damn long that we believe it." He sighed. "If you wanna be with just one person the rest of your life, do it. But don't let random chance dictate who you choose. It's stupid."

" _BULLSHIT!"_ someone shouted inside his head, and Jackie stood with clenched fists and a flushed face.

"That's not true, Hyde!" she said.

" _Bastard, how dare you? Who the fuck do you think you are?"_ his soulmate shouted telepathically, and his head started to pound. What were the chances her thoughts would synchronize with the attitude of Kelso's new girlfriend?

"I heard him," Jackie said. "I know I did!"

Her eyes were filled with tears and he swallowed. Upsetting her wasn't his intention. She was annoying as fuck, and her voice had made his headache worse, but making a girl cry was never on his agenda.

" _You don't know anything!_ " his soulmate said inside his skull, but she couldn't be talking to him or about him. They'd never met, but one of her words applied to him anyway. He was a bastard.

"Hey—" he began, but Jackie spoke over him.

"Just because you don't remember hearing your soulmate doesn't mean other people are like you!" She gave him one last glare before charging out of the basement, hair whipping behind her.

" _What an asshole!"_ Hyde's soulmate said in his mind. Her timing was impeccable. _"Poor people are not only sad. They're bad and mean."_

He swallowed again when Kelso chased after his girlfriend, but Forman and Donna broke into laughter.

"Nicely done, Hyde!" Forman scooted across the couch and offered him a high-five.

Hyde left his hand hovering in the air. The girl in his mind kept yelling at whoever had pissed her off. Jackie's thoughts had to be just as pissed.

"Man, that girl is horrible!" Forman said.

"She's got some nerve," Donna said and walked over to Hyde. She clasped his shoulder, and he shrugged her off. Her touch was usually something he craved—too much—but it did nothing for him right now. "Jackie yelled at you!" she went on, as if their physical interaction hadn't happened. No surprise there. She never noticed him , not the way he wanted her to. "If she wasn't such a romantic moron, I'd like her."

"Donna, man, what did she do to you?" he said and blinked at his own words. She didn't answer, but her lack of response told him enough. "Crap…"

He pushed himself off his chair. Making a girl cry wasn't cool, but being celebrated for it sucked worse. None of his friends, not even Donna, seemed to get it. He left the basement through the back door without explaining himself, and the chill of night hit his face.

" _I hate him!"_ his soulmate shouted in his head. _"I don't want to see him again! I can't believe I thought he was foxy!'_ She wouldn't shut up, and—fuck, who had this chick met? He hoped she'd keep to her word, that she wouldn't see that asshole again.

Her thoughts were filled with weird and worrying shit. They usually were, but tonight's were fueled by fury. Another batch of conflicting feelings he had to lug around along with his own.

Generally, what made her happy transformed into sad realizations. Like when her dad showed affection by giving her presents. Her cheerful thoughts eventually turned cold as the truth seeped into her. Without her dad spending time with her, creating memories, the presents were meaningless. He didn't know her because he wasn't ever home long enough. Because she wasn't important to him. And that belief heated her thoughts, not quite enough to rage, but her anger transferred into Hyde's blood.

He sympathized with her, the agonized person inside his head, but he needed her to shut up. He ached to have Jackie's luck and one day just stop listening.

 **~0~**

 _November 28, 1980._

St. Paul's Episcopal Church had buzzed with pre-wedding noise when Jackie found Steven in his dressing room. She'd tricked Donna into leaving her side by claiming hunger pains and sneaked off. None of Steven's groomsmen were with him. Her suspicion about him wanting solitude while he put on his tux had been correct.

He'd accepted her idea after a second of silence, as if he'd been waiting for her to show up and suggest it. He nodded, took her hand, and they left quietly while everyone continued to flutter around the church.

They'd gone together. Their unity, their closeness, had crushed her fear that she'd gone crazy. But now, at the diner, she'd never felt so separated from him. He sat across from her at the table, lost in his own world. His own mind. He'd been different since he found her in that Chicago motel room. The guilt on his face and in his voice had threatened to break her heart all over again. He'd changed, and she knew—without him saying so out loud—that he didn't want her as his wife. He wanted only her.

A waitress brought their food and placed it in front of them. Hamburgers and French Fries.

"Steven?" Jackie said when the waitress left, but the smell of French fries was dizzying. This was her third dizzy spell in as many days, but she refused to think about it and shut her eyes. Breathed in and out. In and out. Then looked at Steven again, hoping to see his eyes.

They never shone cold as other blue eyes did. His were a summer day, filled with warmth and laughs and a sun that promised never to leave. But he hid them from her, keeping his gaze down at his plate.

Even without the Gift, she could guess what was in his mind.

"Steven," she said again, and this time he looked at her. "Are you … are you okay?"

"Yeah, man." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "Just tired. We didn't think this through."

She mustered a smile. It probably seemed fake, but he said nothing and started to eat. She didn't push him to say more. Instead, she bit into her own burger. It tasted greasy and a little gross, which meant it was good. But her dizziness didn't help her appetite.

Steven's ring was still on her finger. She hoped it would remain there for a while if, in the next few days, he didn't dump her. Her stupid, impulsive choice had sent him a horrible message. But maybe he'd understand her reasons once she got the guts to speak them out loud.

They continued to eat, but his silence was like fire, burning her wounds. The silence of not just his voice but his thoughts. His absence inside her head bothered her more than ever.

Because Steven James Hyde was her soulmate. No one needed to tell her that, even though she'd stopped listening to his thoughts when they were kids. But why couldn't she hear them again?

Steven didn't have the Gift. She'd made sure of that by asking all their friends and the Formans. Everyone answered the same: he wasn't a Listener. But she'd asked Steven himself, just to be sure, during the summer their relationship started. He'd smiled and kissed her forehead. Said, "Nope," before reminding her how little he cared about the whole concept of soulmates

But she did. She cared even when she didn't want to, but her beliefs had expanded beyond what she'd been taught. Being with Steven was what she wanted. Whether or not he was her soulmate didn't matter.

It shouldn't have.

Yet part of her still worried. She'd stopped listening to his thoughts, and now she was deaf to them. Did that mean the universe had made a mistake, that she and Steven weren't mean to be?

She chewed and swallowed a French fry, but her fear didn't subside. She'd never heard of or read about anyone like her, someone who'd lost the Gift. People with more than one soulmate—widows and widowers who heard someone else's thoughts once their first partner was gone—sure. But people who had the Gift then didn't anymore? Nonsense, as her Grandma Beulah would say.

Maybe she was broken. Maybe she was depriving Steven of the chance of being happy without her.

He was no longer eating. He'd put down his burger and was staring out the window. A few cars zoomed past on the road outside. A small motel was behind the diner. That was where she and Steven would spend the rest of the night, mostly so he could sleep. He needed enough energy to keep driving them to nowhere.

He had to hate her for all of this, and her eyes felt thick and heavy, as if they'd burst into tears that would never stop.

"I don't hate you," he said.

Even as tears rimmed her eyes, she smiled—genuinely this time—at how well he knew her. If that didn't mean they were it for each other, the universe could go fuck itself.

He laughed. "That's the spirit."

"What?"

"You haven't smiled since we left Point Place," he said, and her heart started to pound. He often paid close attention to her, her attitude and facial expressions and body language. He read her like no one else. How she felt and what she was thinking, they were important to him.

She should've realized it years ago, but his perpetual aloofness had rendered his deepest feelings invisible. Not his love, but her significance to him. How she recognized it now, though, eluded her.

"Well, you know how to look through my Zen, grasshopper."

She blinked a few times. He was talking crazy, and her stomach hurt.

"You must be sick," he said and took a sip of Coke. "You've been feeling like this for days."

"Yeah…" She'd told him about her dizziness yesterday, during breakfast, but was she pale? She needed to go to the bathroom and redo her makeup.

"Jackie, you don't need any of that. You don't look sick."

Silence.

White noise crackled inside her head like it had since she was eleven. She missed her soulmate's voice when she felt the loneliest.

Steven wiped burger grease from his fingers with a napkin. He reached across the table afterward, grasped her hand, and caressed her knuckles. The contact was likely meant to reassure her, but she sensed as much tension in him as she felt herself, as if she could still hear his thoughts.

That was ridiculous, though. She was projecting her own anxiety onto him. She couldn't possibly feel what he was feeling—

"I bet you can," he said. "Listen, Jackie—"

"H-how do you know—wh-what are you—?" Had her tongue broken off? She couldn't finish her damn sentences, but she forced one through her fumbling mouth: "How are you answering me like that?"

"Um…" He kept caressing her skin. His touch ached in her heart, and the pain in her stomach grew worse. "I … was born with an extra voice inside my head," he said, "but I ain't crazy … I think."

His response mirrored what she'd told him and their friends when she first me them, when she explained she had the Gift. That she was—had been—a Listener.

"Yeah," he said.

A scream burned in her throat. _Yeah?_ Just, _Yeah,_ after five years together, after she was honest with him about her situation and her own Gift? _Yeah?_

"Look, Jackie, I know you're pissed, but—I couldn't just tell you, all right? Nobody knows anyway. It embarrassed the hell out of me at first. Then I was afraid—"

"Shut the hell up." She yanked her hand from him and stood up. Steven stood up, too, but she gestured for him to sit back down. "Leave me alone."

He did , and that was all he did. He said nothing, moved no part of his body. She couldn't hear his thoughts or the beat of his heart, but she hoped he was scared. Because she was going to yell the shit out of him if she couldn't figure out how and why he'd hid the truth from her so well.

"Oh, God…" she said and began to hyperventilate. He stood again, but she was already racing toward the bathroom, a hand over her mouth.

Whatever he thought of her running off on him, he already knew she needed to throw up. He could hear it in his head. He was a Goddamn Listener.

She reached a toilet, knelt down, and her stomach contracted. _Disgusting._ This was not how she imagined spending Steven's birthday.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** Jackie makes a call, Hyde grees to another of her ideas again.


	2. Of Shame And Other Lies

**A/N:** Hello, everyone. I'm out of town for the weeken, so I wanted to post thid yesterday but my cousins dragged me around until it was too late. So here it is! I won't be answering reviews until around Tuesday or something. But thank you all!

I want to thank you all for the support, to everyone who commented and those who didn't but enjoyed the story anyway. It means a lot to me.

Aaand, I forogot to tell you all last chapter, that the title for this fic comes form the song 'Until We Get There' by Lucious. You should all listen to it, because the lyrics are exactly how Jackie and Hyde feel in this fic. Enjoy!

* * *

 _1978_

The cell's metal bench was cold, but Hyde had gotten used to it. His arraignment wouldn't be for another hour. He'd face the judge with a court-appointed attorney, not family, at his side. The Formans were all he had, but Red had yelled the fuck out of him on the phone. No support was offered, just a hard truth: Hyde would live and die by his own choices.

No one shared the cell with him, and no one seemed to share his mind tonight, either. His soulmate was being quiet. Her thoughts had been pretty active lately, mostly about the boy she liked, but not tonight. At least she wasn't attached to this soulmate crap. It was one less worry on Hyde's list. That should've made him happy, but… fuck it.

He would've learned to do the mind-block years ago if he'd had the money. But his folks weren't the allowance-giving type. Whatever dough he'd gotten from them he'd stolen after putting their drunk asses to bed.

Ending up in jail had been inevitable. Didn't matter if the judge let him out on parole this time. Prison would be his home someday.

He shut his eyes and gripped the edge of the bench. What he couldn't believe was how he'd landed here. Going to jail for a girl he didn't even like—it wasn't a badass move. It was a dumbass one.

But Jackie, man, she was as clumsy as she was annoying. Tossing the bag was on him, but giving it to him in a public area? That was her shitty mistake, almost as shitty as taking the fall for her. He should've let that cop cuff her. Instead of proclaiming her love, she'd have blamed Hyde for her arrest record and left him the fuck alone.

" _What I am going to do?"_ his soulmate said inside his head, and he sighed. The silence was over. A perfect addition to an already crappy night. " _I can tell Daddy to get him out! Yes, I can do that!"_

Despite her recent run of non-stop thoughts, she was usually pretty quiet. He'd listen to her every few months. Sometimes the stretches of silence grew so long he thought he'd finally killed his Gift and shut her out for good. But then her voice would burst through his dreams and wake him up as she cried about being alone forever.

Hearing that girl was so damn weird. She was different from his usual kind of chick, from Donna and Jackie. Her thoughts shifted so much from one day to the next that two entirely separate girls seemed to be in his skull.

He did research on the phenomenon a while back. A book written by a supposed expert on Listeners wrote that people were complex beings with mercurial and conflicting thoughts. That having access to someone else's mind all the time could be confusing, especially if one's soulmate was prone to uncertainty. Indecisiveness often resembled two minds in conflict, but the only thoughts a Listener heard belonged to him and his soulmate.

His _current_ soulmate. Not the future soulmate he might connect to if his current one died.

The expert's info sounded authoritative, but experts had been wrong before. Just twenty years ago, people believed Listeners weren't real. And before scientific studies, the childhood experiences people reported of hearing someone else's thoughts were explained away as religious, superstitious nonsense.

 _"I can't tell Daddy about Steven. He'll try to separate us once he's out of jail! Damn it, you did it big this time!'_

Hyde froze on the bench. No way he was hearing what he thought he wasn't hearing.

" _I can't leave him there. He's capable of so much more! I can't ruin his life! We'll never be rich and happy if I leave him there!"_

His soulmate hadn't said that. Those thoughts had to be his own, conjured by exhaustion, by staring at the cell walls. Because the chick in his skull never said his name.

But he never called anyone _Daddy,_ and the voice in his head sounded exactly like his soulmate's, and it had said his name. Had spoken like it—like _she_ knew he'd been tossed in jail. The only one to blame for that was…

" _Donna's right. This is my fault. I'm such a horrible bitch. Steven's never gonna love me!"_

Fuck.

 **Until We Get There**

 **II. Of Shame And Other Lies**

 _November 28, 1983._

Jackie was puking a week's worth of food in the diner's bathroom, and the sound of her effort came through the door. Hyde waited by the food counter as the owner looked at him with an arched eyebrow. The glow of his balding head would've inspired a million burns—if Hyde hadn't ruined his entire relationship by being fucking honest.

This sitch should've gone differently. Instead of him listening to her vomit, she should've heard him out, learned why he hadn't told her the truth earlier.

For him, being Gifted was a sign of weakness and a kind of oppression. For her, the Gift had meant everything. Her family made sure she believed in the relatively new, so-called discovery that being a Listener meant a deeper bond between soulmates. According to her point of view, what he'd done was a betrayal.

The insults she'd come up with would be doozies. The accusations she was going to hurl would be just as bad, and… _damn._ He'd be sleeping in the Camino tonight.

Once the clock hit midnight, today had become his freakin' birthday. It was also supposed to be his fucking wedding night. Not that it mattered. She hadn't wanted to marry him after all.

They'd run off from the church without a destination. She'd run off to the bathroom without hearing him out. The night was bad enough, but it could get worse. If she needed a doctor while they were in the middle of nowhere, that would be super.

She had a map in her improvised travel bag and a wad of dough. He hadn't asked where she'd gotten the cash from, but his first guess was the people her mom invited to the church without permission.

Jackie grunted through the bathroom door. The circus Pam Burkhart had made of their wedding must've finally gotten to her, exacerbated by the shock of his confession. _Sort-of_ confession. He hadn't actually offered the info on his own. He'd given it to her as an answer to her questions.

"Your woman is pregnant, isn't she?"

Hyde looked up from the food counter. A biker chick was walking back from the bathroom, glaring at him like he'd personally offended her.

"She's a slip of a girl, man," the biker chick said. "You better take care of her. She can't be eating this slop!" She gestured to the pastry display behind the counter.

He shut his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. What the fuck was this chick talking about? For starters, Jackie couldn't be pregnant. They were always careful during sex, and he'd seen her pack her period pads.

But she was spending too much time in that bathroom. Her gagging had stopped, but that could be a good sign or a bad one. He sped from the food counter, imagining her sprawled on the bathroom tile, choking on her own puke. But she left the bathroom before he could reach it, skin pale as a corpse.

He changed trajectory, strolling toward their table while keeping an eye on her. She wouldn't let him help her in this state, not with how pissed she was, but he wouldn't let her fall either. The second she wobbled on her feet, he'd be right at her side.

He sat at the table, and Jackie joined him there a moment later. Her half-eaten food remained on her plate, probably ice cold, but the owner put a steaming cup of tea in front of her. "From Melinda," he said. "This will help you."

Jackie glanced at the biker chick, the only woman in the joint besides her. Melinda was sitting with her tattooed pals in their booth and nodded in Jackie's direction. "If you need a doctor," Melinda said, "my boys can take you to one in the morning."

"Oh, I'm fine." Jackie touched the teacup with her fingertips. "I just… made a mess of my food today."

"You look really sick, darlin'," the diner owner said.

"I look dead," she muttered, and Hyde cursed himself for letting her get to that state. "But I'll be fine. I swear."

The owner slung a dirty washcloth from the food counter over his shoulder. "All right. I'll be in the back if you need anything. Gus—the guy I own this place with—will be here in the morning."

"Thanks, Albie."

Hyde stared at her. When had she learned the guy's name?

She took a sip of tea as Albie disappeared into the kitchen, but her face contorted like she'd burned her tongue. She put down the cup, moved her plate aside, and dropped a napkin on top of the burger, as if she couldn't stand to see it.

He listened for her thoughts, but white noise filled his mind. Was she shutting him out? As a kid, her dad had paid for thought-blocking lessons. She'd learned how to keep her soulmate out of her skull, but it worked both ways. She often complained that those lessons had deafened her telepathically, that they were the reason she couldn't hear her soulmate's thoughts anymore.

Back before Hyde and Jackie were together, Fez had suggested her soulmate was dead. Donna said that Jackie's growth as a person might've switched her soulmate to someone more fitting for her. Forman, though, attacked Jackie with a smug, "Maybe you don't have a soulmate after all," causing another tear in his relationship with Donna. They'd been broken up for a while at that point, and they still hadn't reconciled.

Hyde himself remained silent during Jackie's early bouts of griping. He'd confirmed by then that she was the girl in his skull. Listening to her complain aloud about not hearing a soulmate who was most likely him—that was too damn strange. Because half of him was relieved she couldn't hear him, and the other half was disappointed.

The duality within him didn't exist in a vacuum. It had been borne from a kiss where he'd felt everything, and she'd felt nothing. It should have died, but her unending uncertainty about him sustained it.

"Jackie…" he said now, but she didn't look at him, "you all right?"

"No, Steven. Nothing is all right." She sounded calm, like she did after a few hours of crying. Had she been crying in the bathroom, too? She was hiding her eyes, gazing down at the table, but her pallid skin told the story. Her face always got red while crying. "You lied to me for years," she said, "and made me believe I was stupid for believing in something you had, too!"

The bikers' chatter in the booth stopped, and Jackie sipped her tea, as if trying to shut herself up. Her gaze moved to the window, but Hyde continued to watch her.

Having this conversation here was a bad idea, and he swallowed his words. He and Jackie were far from home, and neither could run without the other. He had the car. She had cash. The situation was freakin' ridiculous.

In all the times he'd imagined leaving Point Place with a hot girl, he never thought she'd be the one whose mind crowded his skull. Even though her thoughts had been a relief most nights, a distraction from the repulsive noises of his house and the breaking pieces of his childhood.

But Jackie wouldn't see the Gift from his point of view. Despite the solace it offered, it had also caused a deep shame in him. Because that was what he'd learned while growing up, to be ashamed. When he told Jackie nobody knew about his Gift, it was mostly true. Only Bud, his goddamn ma, and Forman knew.

Mrs. Forman had probably guessed he was a Listener, but Hyde never talked to Forman about that after he learned the truth, and Donna? He'd denied it the thousand times she'd asked, and eventually she stopped.

Jackie still faced the diner window, but he couldn't leave shit this way between them. He had to reach her. "I didn't know it was you until years after we met," he said, but she didn't react. Not even flinch. "After I realized who was in my skull, I tried to confirm it and—"

"I don't care, Steven." She turned from the window and met his gaze. "It's not that you had the Gift and heard me. I'm happy about that." She slid her hand over her heart. "It's the fact that you never told me and made me believe you didn't care—"

"Because I don't care about it!" he shouted, but calling attention to himself at this hour and in a place like this wasn't his intention. "Jackie," he said, lowering his voice, "I never cared. I wanted to be with you because of _you_ , not because of some cosmic preassigned crap I was born with. Why you can't see that?"

"You called me a freak for having the Gift."

She quit looking at him again and ripped open a packet of sugar. She didn't dump it in her tea but placed the packet against the wall. Ten torn sugar packets lined the wall before he decided to pipe up. "When?" he said.

She opened another sugar packet, but this one fell from her fingers. Sugar spilled over the table, and she sighed before taking a napkin. "Donna told me," she said. "She was trying to convince me to stop chasing you, so she told me what you thought about me."

"And you believed her? I never said that."

"Really? Well, if you say you didn't, then I believe you."

His lips twitched up, an almost-smile. Finally, he was getting through to her.

"Because you wrote it," she said. "Donna showed me the note."

"Fuck." The memory of scrawling that note rose in his mind. Jackie's obsession with him had reached an apex, and he hadn't heard her thoughts for a goodly long time. Those two facts combined made him rethink his theory that she was his so-called soulmate. The possibility of Donna showing her that dumb note never occurred to him.

Donna had been passing her own notes to him in school about what he'd do about Jackie. He'd answered like a dick so she'd quit bugging him and realize he didn't want anything to do with Jackie.

He hadn't then. His feelings for her weren't the same as they were now. But no matter how he felt, he was an asshole without her. That much he knew.

"That note didn't mean anything," he said now.

"'Plus, she's one of those Listener freaks,'" she said, reciting his note. "'I can do dirty, not weird.'"

"Fuck."

She had the worst memory in the world—because she remembered _everything_ and could prove herself right

"It didn't mean anything," he repeated and grasped her hands. She didn't wrench them away, so he tried to soothe her by caressing them softly. "You really believe I think that crap? Especially now? 'Cause I don't. I didn't even believe it back then. I was just trying to get Donna off my back."

"By insulting me?"

He shook his head. "She needed to think I didn't care… I know. It was shitty, and I shouldn't have said something like that. But that was a long time ago, man." He dragged in a breath through his nose. "The way I see you now is so damn different. The way I think about the Gift is, too."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" He sucked his teeth while searching for the best way to explain himself. "I used to hate having the Gift. I still don't like it sometimes."

"Oh."

She removed her hands from his and hid them below the table. If she didn't want physical contact, then she was truly upset, and he'd run out of ideas. She wasn't listening to him and probably wouldn't care what he'd say next. Not that he was sure if he could actually put into words his reasons for keeping his Gift a secret.

"I knew shit would get complicated if I told you." He leaned back against his seat and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Look," he said, "I didn't want you deciding to be with me because of this crap." He pointed at his temple. "That's all."

A dry, bitter laugh scraped his throat. "Funny…" he lowered his gaze to his abandoned burger and fries, "you didn't want me in the end anyway."

"Oh." She looked at him in a way she hadn't since he took her to prom. He didn't like it, didn't miss it. "You think I didn't marry you because of the soulmate situation?" she said, smiling. It wasn't a happy smile. It was sad and full of hurt, and clearly nothing he said had made her feel better. "I've known you were my soulmate for _years_. I don't need to hear your thoughts to know that. Even if you weren't my soulmate, I'd still be with you."

The silence between them grew heavy. The bikers in the booth were leaving, and Melinda brought Jackie a small bag. Jackie took it and thanked her. Then she peeked inside the bag, nodded, and left it beside her opened packets of sugar.

He'd fucked up, hadn't he?

"Steven," she said, "you not being my soulmate isn't why I didn't marry you."

 **~0~**

Steven wasn't in the motel room when Jackie woke up. To her own surprise, she didn't care where he was so early in the morning.

Last night, he hadn't asked her reasons for not marrying him. After all the problems they'd gotten through, he'd think she was crazy once he learned the truth. His lying would become the secondary offense in comparison, and she'd be in the wrong again. So that was great.

She cupped her head. She was dizzy again—and fuck, fuck, fuck.

She walked to the bathroom carefully and sat on the toilet. Her period was two months late now, but she was numb to the possibilities.

At the sink, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. "Damn…"

Her scalp was oily, and her hair was frizzy. At another time, with other situations going on, she might've been upset about it. Today was Steven's birthday and he deserved a beautiful girlfriend to walk by his side. But Jackie had turned into his runaway bride, one who hadn't explained her reasons for not getting married.

Last night, her mom had hurled insult after insult on the phone. Mrs. Forman and Mr. Barnett were probably as angry.

Bile rose in Jackie's throat "Oh, God…"

She huddled over the toilet and threw up whatever was left of her stomach. Dry heaves wracked her body when she was stupid enough to look inside the toilet. Morning sickness? But she didn't want to be pregnant. Not now.

And how could she be? It was impossible.

"No, no, no…" She flushed the toilet and sank to the bathroom tile. She'd become a legal adult only this year and had stopped her own wedding from happening. To be pregnant would be the cherry on top of the crappiest sundae ever.

"Jackie?" Steven's voice, and he'd probably listened to her think all those horrible thoughts. He had to hate her for all she'd done, for how much she kept changing, for realizing how little she actually did for him. "Hey," he said, crouching by her side. "you okay?"

"Fine…" she murmured. "It's nothing."

He wasn't wearing his sunglasses, and his arm cradled a plastic bag of what smelled like breakfast, but her appetite was long gone.

She stood with his help and rinsed her mouth at the sink, washed her hands. Then she joined him at their room's small table, where he was pulling food from the bag.

"I'm going to call Mrs. Forman," she said. "Do you want to go with me?" Their motel room had clean sheets but no phone. She'd have to use the payphone by the diner, and she rummaged in their makeshift suitcase for some relatively clean clothes.

"Would ya eat something first, please?" he said, which meant no.

"I'm not hungry." She took off the shirt she'd worn to bed, _his_ shirt. She had a habit of wearing his clothes to bed. Even when she was angry at him, she still wanted him all around her. "Besides, if I eat anything, I'm going to throw it up anyway."

"Jackie…" He'd left the table, and his hands slid over her cheeks. "You need a doctor. We ain't leaving without you seeing one. I'm asking your bald friend downstairs for the information. All right?"

"His name is Albert, but he won't be there this morning. His partner will." She pecked his lips and withdrew from him. She pulled on her jeans, put on a white top. Red flowers adorned it, and she grabbed her pink coat for protection from the weather. "I'll be right back."

She left the room. Whatever his objections were, she didn't want to hear them. Or learn if he'd heard her freak out about a possible pregnancy.

The journey to the payphone wasn't far, but it felt eternal. Minutes were passing like hours, and though she was neither tired nor bored, her desperation to leave this dump had grown exponentially.

Two paths split from the motel. One led to the diner and payphone. The other descended to a plant nursery and garden. The motel desk clerk had marked it on Steven's map. Jackie hadn't given much thought to it then, but the garden seemed interesting enough. Maybe Steven would take a look at it with her, despite that it was miles away.

She'd reached the diner, and the place appeared less seedy in the light of day. Old and tacky, yes, but most diners in the middle of the highway were like that. She went to the payphone and wiped her cold, sweaty palms on her jeans. She picked up the receiver, put in her money, but she didn't call Mrs. Forman.

The phone rang, and soon her mom's voice answered, agreeing to pay the long-distance charges. She sounded sober. She could've been, thanks to her latest boy toy.

The idea made Jackie gag, but she had nothing left inside her to vomit except nausea. It had become the only feeling she had access to.

"Jackie? Where the hell are you?"

All the same questions from last night's call followed, and Jackie breathed in and out, in and out, waiting for the rant to end.

"And how dare you hanging up on me?" her mom continued. "You embarrassed William and me in front of two hundred guests!"

"That were yours!" Jackie said, but her mom kept on talking. "Mom—"

"Jacqueline Burkhart, you left your own damn wedding and now everyone is talking about you! How do you think I feel, huh? Have you thought of that?"

Jackie closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on the payphone's housing. Her mom's grievances were the least of her worries, and checking in with her had been a mistake. Jackie considered hanging up on her again, but she cleared her throat and spoke instead.

"I'm sorry. It's just … it was something I had to do. I can't get married like this."

"What do you mean?" her mom said, but she gasped a moment later. "Are you pregnant? No. Did he cheat on you? Honey, I told you before, you're going to be the wife. Whores will come and go, but you'll be the wife!"

The horror, the horror, the horror… Jackie gagged as fresh bout of nausea shuddered through her. That she used to think the same way as her mom was as sickening as her mom believing Steven would cheat on her again.

"No! Mom, shut up for a little. Let me explain!"

"Jackie—"

"Mom, please listen to me!"

She hated begging. Only two people ever experienced it from her, and her mom was number one. Repeatedly. The second was Steven, but that had been just once. Hopefully, it would stay that way.

"Steven only wanted to marry me because he thought he would lose me, okay?" she said when her mom remained silent. "It's not fair for us to get married like this! It's not what I want."

With every word, the numbness in her body retreated, further and further, until she was a fully feeling human being. Her hands were shaking, and she clutched the receiver to her ear. "You took my wedding away from me, mom. The wedding dress is awful!"

"How dare—"

"You chose it for me! I know you did it because you love me." The words were like sand in her mouth, but she had to give a little to get a little. "But I want to get married in a dress that makes me feel like myself, that makes Steven cry when he sees me at the altar. You should wear the dress we bought, not me!"

"But—"

"All those people you invited who gave us money as a gift," she went on, "I don't know any of them, not one. But I'm not giving back that money."

"Well, you have to…"

"No, you and your stupid twenty-something boyfriend are going to. You stole my wedding from me, made me think the man I love was going to abandon me if I told him I wanted to postpone it. You made me doubt my Steven!"

She closed her eyes again. Her mom was likely shaking with anger, Jackie couldn't care less.

For years she had her mom's voice in the back of her head, telling her how not to lose Steven. And every time she listened, she lost him a little bit more until he looked at her, clear-eyed, and said, "I don't know," about them having a future.

When his thoughts didn't enter her mind that time, she'd lost all hope that she wasn't broken and that finding that connection to him again would fix her.

His mind was something she'd first admired then loved. As a kid, it had filled her with dreams of a future when they'd meet and fall in love. Her grandma had encouraged that part of her, and she wondered what Beulah Burkhart would think of her running away from her wedding at twenty-one-years-old.

"I … I just called to say I'm fine," Jackie said into the phone, "and I'm not coming back soon. I'm sorry, Mom."

"But, Jackie—"

"Mom? I have to go."

Her mom went silent then sighed. "Take care, Jackie."

"Thanks, Mom."

Jackie hung up the phone. In spite of her explanation, her mom wouldn't understand her reasons for leaving. But she didn't need that. She needed only Steven to understand.

She headed back to the motel and spotted him on the stairs. She moved toward him as he climbed down. They had to talk. Urgently. He couldn't spend his birthday thinking she didn't want him anymore or that she was actually angry at him for that lie.

"Steven!" she shouted, and he looked toward her. He dashed down the rest of the stairs and met her halfway across the motel parking lot.

"Hey." He inhaled a breath before smiling at her. "So, did you talk to Mrs. Forman?"

"No," she said and hugged his waist. "I talked to my mom. I think she'll be fine."

"Cool."

"Steven…" She had to tell him they were okay. They were as far as she was concerned. Maybe he'd get angry at her ridiculous reason for calling off the wedding. Maybe he was already furious at her for making him go through all those plans, only to run away from the church at the last minute. "There's—"

She couldn't do it. She withdrew from him but planted both hands on his chest. He curled his fingers around them and grinned at her. Why was he this perfect? She swallowed and returned his grin.

"There's a garden down the road," she said. "A plant nursery. The map shows a better hotel there, too. Do you want to take a look?"

"A plant nursery?"

"Yes!"

If he was listening to her thoughts, she hoped he heard how badly she needed this. Distraction had never been her way, but apparently this week she felt compelled to do all those things she usually didn't consider.

He caressed her knuckles, and his grin didn't fade. "All right."

* * *

 **Next Chapter** : Hyde addresses the elephant in the room as they arrive to the Plant Nursery at the end of the road. Little Jackie goes to therapy.


	3. Sun's Realm

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the comments, favorites and follows! (and kudos, and bookmarks in AO3). It's nice to see all this coming into my e-mail box. This chapter gives some more about what is going on with Jackie. I hope you all enjoy it!

Now, you NEED to check out doodlebugdebz art for this story. In my profile, you will find a link to it. And on a more amazing note, Danny Masterson found the post of the fanart on my instagram, liked it and re-posted it on Thursday morning. I bet some of you have already seen, but still! Give some love to Debz, even DM liked her wonderful work!

* * *

 _March 28, 1983_

"Look at you, all a princess!"

Donna's voice had changed from when she and Jackie first met to this day. It used to be sweeter, and Jackie wondered if the smoking had something to do with it, or if it was just some random change everyone went through, and she just hadn't noticed until today.

"You look so beautiful!" Mrs. Forman said at her side, and Jackie looked at herself in the store's mirrors.

When she asked them and her mother to come with her as she put on her wedding dress for the first time, she had been excited. But now that she was looking at her reflection in the bigger mirror, Jackie wasn't so sure about any of it.

"Oh, my God!" her mother said. Her voice sounded amazed, and Jackie wished she didn't recognized her fake actress tone in it. "I knew you would look beautiful, but this? Han is going to cry when he sees you!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. Donna laughed at her side, and Mrs. Forman shook her head. None of them were in the mood to correct her mother about Steven's name. Again. It had been a long damn day of Pam Burkhart for the three of them.

"Don't you like it, Miss Burkhart?" the dress designer said, and Jackie turned to look at her back covered in white.

No. She didn't like it.

"Yeah…" She faked a smile. It looked real, at least, and the designer smiled back. Jackie smiled wider and spotted in the corner of her eye Mrs. Forman noticing the falseness of it. Jackie decided to ignore her. "It's wonderful. Look how it fits!"

The dress made her look like a table. She didn't have much in her butt, even when her waist had an excellent shape. Her breasts were firm and beautiful, proportional to the rest of her body, but this stupid dress separated and crushed them.

She looked like a boy trying on his mother's old dresses for fun, and she wanted to cry.

"Isn't it romantic that I chose the dress?" her mother said to the designer. "I always dreamed of the day my daughter would get married, and I knew she would look splendid in your design!"

The designer continued to talk to Jackie's mother, and Mrs. Forman tried to give some volume to the train of the dress. Donna drank from her wine and eyed her as Jackie kept moving to view the dress at different angles, but nothing good happened.

Because this wasn't her dress. This was her mother's. Steven would not say, "I do," to her in this dress.

She wouldn't, at least.

 **Until We Get There**

 **III. Sun's Realm**

The nursery garden Jackie had mentioned was a few miles away from the diner and the motel.

As soon as Hyde and Jackie located it on her map, they checked out of the motel and asked for directions before she went back to the diner and said goodbye to Albie and his partner, a guy named Gus. They didn't seem like bad people, and Hyde thanked them for their help when they arrived.

It amazed him how, more often than ever, Jackie was able not to be judgmental and just accept people around her. She hadn't said a word about these two guys or the biker girl who'd given her Pepto and aspirin after helping her in the bathroom.

Jackie still looked twice at some people and trashed other girls' clothing, but at least she didn't do it in their faces or didn't accept other people's kindness. And, more importantly, she was kind to them in return or without needing them to be to her.

He wondered if he had changed as much and in what ways.

"Okay, to the left. Here…" She indicated the direction to him, and he drove left.

Green and yellow appeared at the end of the road, and Jackie's eyes went big and surprised. "What are those…?" she murmured.

Her mind had been quiet after she threw up in the morning, and his hands were sweating at the last thought of hers he'd heard: _"_ _Please, don't be pregnant. Please, don't be pregnant. Please, don't be pregnant."_ It repeated itself, and he wasn't completely sure if it was her thought or his or both. She was scared at the idea, and he would be a tremendous liar if he said he weren't as scared.

Part of him had been relieved she'd decided to call off Pam's circus, even if he was confused as hell and almost sure he'd lose her after this little road trip. Neither of them were ready for marriage. He was sure of this, too. But he'd accept it if it made her happy. Because—fuck. Her thoughts as she went to Chicago with Kelso had almost killed him.

"Oh! Steven, they are sunflowers!" she said after they passed a small _Welcome!_ sign. "Look at them! They're so beautiful!"

The yellow at the end of the road seemed unreal. He wouldn't had believed it if someone had told him about the place, but there they were, radiating actual sun from their tall forms, and a big sign welcomed them again to the nursery.

Its entrance was bigger than he thought. Sun's Realm was its name, and Jackie's smile hadn't been this big in months. Coming here didn't seem like a bad idea after all.

A man drew his attention, signaling him where to park the El Camino, and Hyde moved as indicated. Jackie seemed more excited the more she saw around them, like every time they went to Funland or he had accompanied her to the mall during a sale.

"Man, I think that's a hotel…" he murmured, looking up at the bigger building to their side. Jackie looked at it, too, and then at him. "Wanna go?"

"Yes!"

She almost ran outside the car, but she waited for him to talk to the guy who'd helped them park and took Hyde's arm when he stood at her side. It felt nice to have her close again. Her anger had dissipated, and the tension between them wasn't as intoxicating as it had been when they left Point Place.

"Damn." He smiled as she gasped at his side. The lobby was awesome. It smelled like wood and fresh air, and the girl at the counter couldn't be more than sixteen. She looked like someone out of an old painting, redhead and all. "It _is_ a hotel."

"Oh, we are," the girl said. "I assume you have never been in Sun's Realm, right?" She moved behind her desk, searching for something. "Are you planing on only visiting the nursery, or do you want to stay with us? We come with a pool, spa, and a restaurant that serves food morning, noon, and night,"

Jackie looked immediately at him, as if wanting to ask for something without words, like she used to do when they were younger and had started to date. She pouted when he blinked, and fuck. It still worked on him as easily. He sighed, and she smiled, running towards the counter.

"Hi!" Jackie said to the girl. "We would like a room, please."

"Of course!" The girl showed her a brochure. "Here are our types of rooms and our activities, and—"

Hyde let Jackie see whatever she wanted. It was his birthday, but it would have been their damn honeymoon, too. W.B. probably hated him for that.

W.B. had paid for some surprise European trip, and Jackie had been excited about it, but right now, sunflowers were everything she wanted to see, and she called him to go and check out their options.

She chose a double room with a big bed and a damn birthday tour with a free meal for him after the visit to the sunflower nursery was over. He almost rolled his eyes, but Jackie was so excited about their new plans he couldn't help but grin.

"Do you guys have any luggage?" the bellboy said after Jackie got their key and paid for their night and tour.

"Oh, yeah. It's in the car, just—" Hyde said, already moving towards the exit, but Jackie took his hand. "What's up?"

"When you go to El Camino, I need you to do something for me. It's going to be weird."

He arched an eyebrow and waited. Her mind didn't say anything, so he hoped it wouldn't be too much.

"Take the ugly dress with you. I want to do something."

"Uh…" He scratched the back of his neck. She was talking about her wedding dress. "Sure."

"I promise I'll explain everything," she said, and his smile returned.

 **~0~**

Her main fear about not being able to hear Steven was the possibility he had another soulmate who wasn't her, and now he'd confirmed this wasn't the case. But she still would've asked him to run away with her from their wedding. The soulmate situation wasn't her reason for that decision.

Being here with him, in the hotel, was making her feel like she'd done the right thing. He just needed to know why. But first, his birthday celebration.

"What are you gonna do with that?" he said, looking at the dress hanging on the closet door.

They had booked just one night for the moment, but this place was beautiful and clean, and it had been a while since she was last in a place like this. Maybe two more days could do. If things went her way, maybe she could convince him of it.

"Well, not much," she said. "You'll see."

"Are you gonna burn it?"

She smiled a little and entered the bathroom.

"Cut it to pieces and send it to your mom?" he said through the door, and she laughed while sitting on the toilet and looking at her panties. Nothing.

Well.

"Make a scarecrow that looks like your mother? Or mine?" he said.

"No," she said and wiped herself clean. She flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash her hands.

"Okay, this is the one: we make a puppet and scare the shit out of people. We can hang it from the top floor and make it fly in front of the restaurant. Say it's the spirit of some chick whose groom got lost in the sunflower nursery."

She opened the bathroom and looked at where he was sitting in the bed. "That sounds fun."

"That's my chick."

She loved when he called her his. He never saw her as an object but as the person he wanted to hold and to hold onto for the rest of his life. She had discovered this during their first year engaged, probably starting that night they spent in Chicago.

She took out all their clothes from their bag and realized she brought only two changes of panties. The rest of it were complete sets of lingerie she was supposed to use for their honeymoon. So screw that. She'd be wearing sexy red and black lingerie all day.

Steven laughed behind her, and she wondered if her happy feeling of being able to tease him with sexy clothes had been so strong that he was able to hear it.

"What?"

"Nothing…" He sighed. "We are crazy, right?" he murmured, and she looked t him completely since he'd gone suddenly serious. "What are we doing, Jackie?"

"Steven…"

"Okay, sit down. I need to tell you something."

"But our tour starts in just a few minutes."

"This is serious, Jackie. Come here."

She couldn't run away from him like he used to do from her. Many times she called him out for that, and she wasn't going to fall into it herself. So she sat down, unsure of what was going to happen next. And, God, did she want to have her Gift back more than ever.

"I heard your thoughts this morning," he said, but that wasn't what she was waiting for. "And I-I don't know what to do. You … what do you think?"

She arched an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes and tweaked her nose tenderly then touched his fingertips to her cheek. "I mean, what do you really think aside from the freak-out?"

Jackie swallowed. She had been trying to ignore the possibility that she could be—that she could be pregnant. She couldn't look at his face, so her gaze went to his lap. "I don't know, Steven. I may be just sick, you know?"

"How about your period?"

"I usually get irregular when I'm nervous." She sighed. "I've been under stress with the wedding stuff and…" There. She shouldn't talk about the elephant in the room so carelessly. But he didn't seem to mind. Maybe this had been a relief to him, too. "Okay, this is going to sound strange, but—I don't _feel_ pregnant."

"What?" He frowned.

"Well, you know…"

His hand left her face, and she missed his touch, so she took both his hands.

"Brooke told me and Donna how she realized she was pregnant," she said. "She said even before her period didn't come, she noticed how her own mind and body wouldn't allow her to sleep on her stomach and how her hand would go to her belly while reading or walking." She sighed. "I don't feel anything like that, Steven. In fact, I want alcohol more than ever."

He smiled at that, at least, and bit his bottom lip. What she'd said was true, though. It could be a damn craving, but maybe it was her body telling her that no, she was not pregnant and that she should stop stressing out about it, or her period was never going to come.

"Just—just in case, I don't think it's a good idea for you to drink," he murmured, looking at her with such calm her stomach filled with butterflies. "And … how can we be sure?"

"A test takes months to come out. We'll be sure about it before we get the results. We can just let it be. See if my period comes on time this month. If it hasn't come in two days, we may be in trouble."

He frowned again, and when had she become the one scared of their relationship? Irony had always made puppets out of them.

Steven cleared his throat and caressed her hands. "Trouble?" he said. "I think we should talk about the possibility of it happening. Do you … want it?"

Did he just ask her what she thought he'd asked? God, if he was listening to her thoughts right now, she hoped he knew he was going to need to get a restraining order against her for how far she'd kick his ass at his suggestion.

Being pregnant at the moment wasn't ideal, but _that_ was no option, not for her.

She respected other girls' decisions, but she couldn't do such a thing. Especially when there wasn't a real way of doing it without her life being in danger. And no. Just no. If she was pregnant, it was going to be her and Steven's baby. That was enough for her to want it.

"Remember how you once joked me getting pregnant was going to be the only way you'd marry me?" she said.

He closed his eyes, raised his eyebrows high, and opened his eyes again. "Man, I used to be a dillhole," he said, and she smiled at the admission. "Yeah?"

"Well, that's not happening. I'm not getting married fat and too sensitive, I wouldn't stop crying."

"God, you are going to be so annoying…" He smiled, as if the idea actually appealed to him, and she couldn't help but smile, too. "You okay, there?"

"I should ask you that." She had rejected marrying him twice now. What was wrong with her? "I bet this is not how you expected your birthday to be."

"Um…" He sighed. "Yeah, I was thinking in a lot of sex in some European city."

The mention of what their honeymoon would had been almost made her choke on her own breathing, but instead she closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm very sorry, baby."

"Hey," he said, and she opened her eyes and saw him leaning closer to her. "Here is nice, too."

She leaned her forehead against his and breathed him in. They needed a shower, but his smell had always functioned as something soothing to her. She accepted his kiss next and almost dropped the idea of the small tour they'd of the nursery. They hadn't been _together_ in days. It felt strange to be this apart, but she couldn't bring herself to voice that.

He went to the bathroom with her anyway, and left everything he needed to shave in the sink as she undressed to take a shower. The normality of them doing her own thing in the same bathroom became apparent to her for the first time, and she blinked, wondering when they had become this comfortable with each other and how much more domestic they'd become in their day-to-day without noticing.

Naked and touching her finger to the water to taste its temperature, she heard him unzip his pants, and she entered the shower, closing the the curtain and slowly getting her body into the water.

"I still have to talk to Mrs. Forman. I don't want her worrying about us for nothing," she said as he peed. Almost three years ago, she had sprained her ankle, and he had to follow her around to help her with even the smallest tasks like going to the bathroom. Ever since then, it felt like nothing could get awkward between them. "You want to talk to her?"

"Sure, I guess," he said. "Maybe not today. She's not gonna forgive me for going away on my birthday."

"True." She sighed. "I mean, she did try to guilt-trip you for the honeymoon being during your birthday."

He laughed. Most things Steven found amusing in the people he loved were flaws that could easily be overlooked with the right amount of love. Jackie had always wondered if he did the same with her, if her guilt trips made him laugh. Now, she couldn't help but ask If part of why he'd stayed with her was that he knew what was truly in her head during those times.

The toilet was flushed, and he moved to the sink, cleaning his hands before starting to remove his clothes. She had already put on shampoo and was starting to soap her body when the sound of his clothes being removed made her move to the front of the shower, opening the curtain enough to watch him take off his ring and look over the bed.

"Like what you see?" he said without glancing at her, and she smiled. Her cheeks felt warm, and he walked back to the bathroom.

"Shut up…" she said between her pout and laugh. He nodded, ignoring her all the way inside the shower until she pulled him from his waist to the water, and he hissed. "Happy birthday."

"Damn, ain't I lucky?" He closed his eyes and let the water fall on his head, moving just a little to get his shoulder wet before opening his eyes and sighing, putting his arms around her. "Are we okay?"

"I hope so."

She did. She wanted to tell him what had happened and that she wasn't angry anymore, but her own confusion and crashing feelings were still nesting in her heart, making a hard cocoon she ached to break. It was so unlike her to be this closed, and she laid her head on his chest, breathing in their closeness and praying for her heart's voice to come back.

His hands held her stronger than she'd ever felt him, trying to transmit to her all he was feeling since his head couldn't tell her, and the water caressed her back, warmed by his own body.

"I'm sorry," she said. For freaking out on him and his Gift, for their failed wedding, and for maybe being pregnant. She kept making his life everything he never wanted, and it finally occurred to her that things couldn't be her way all the time. "I'm so sorry, Steven."

With shaking shoulders, she hid her face in his chest, and he just held her. That was what was truly important to him, just to hold her.

 **~0~**

 _January 3, 1973_

The clock in front of her wasn't ticking. It was moving, but no sound came from it, and the silence made her open her eyes to take another look at the small office filled with sunlight.

Jackie smoothed the skirt of her dress, put her feet together, and sighed, sitting on the examination table. She was told to wait for the doctor as he got ready for their first session.

This had been her daddy's idea, and at least he was waiting for her outside with the parents of other kids with her small problem. It still bothered her because this was no problem for her. They were losing time. What happened last month wouldn't happen again because she knew how to block her thoughts and separate them from her soulmate's.

Really, her daddy was just being dramatic, always so worried for her.

"Good afternoon, Miss Burkhart." A woman entered the room. She was pretty and tall, younger than her mother, and Jackie blinked a couple of times. "I'm doctor Galler. I'm going to be helping you block thoughts while you sleep."

Jackie blinked even more. The woman looked so young, it was surprising to see a doctor who was attractive and not old. She sat down in front of Jackie and invited her to lie down and tell her what had happened that night.

But Jackie couldn't remember, not as much as the first days.

"I…" She sighed. "Okay, can I start again?"

"All the times you need, darling."

"Well…" Jackie breathed in and out then licked her lips before starting again. "I went to sleep late because he was worried about his mother not being home. I fell asleep anyway and woke up screaming. My daddy says I was screaming. I remember crying. Just crying."

Then it all got confusing.

Jackie remembered not wanting her mother to touch her. She remembered yelling at her and running downstairs to leave the house. Her daddy had taken her in his arms and drove her away from their home until she calmed down enough to fall asleep again.

The next day, he had asked so many questions. She felt dizzy and couldn't breathe properly. She kept saying she had a cut on her arm and the side of her belly, but nothing was there. Her entire body was fine, but she still could feel pain and cold from something cutting her skin and had the idea of her mother being the one doing so.

"It was all your soulmate's thoughts," the doctor said, telling her what she already knew. "His feelings must have been very raw to transmit actual pain to your body…" She made a few annotations then kept talking. "Do you know what was happening with him?"

"No."

But she had a big suspicion. Lately, her soulmate's thoughts had become somber and more deep with every breath. It scared her, from toes to hair.

"Do you have any idea who your soulmate may be?" the doctor said, and Jackie shook her head, looking at the ceiling.

The doctor looked at her. Jackie had to talk. "No."

"Well, I guess … we need to avoid another Trance. This was a severe one." The doctor sighed. "We'll start our sessions tomorrow at the same hour, Jackie. If you hear your soulmate while we are in session, you'll have to tell me so I can help you block him out."

Jackie frowned at that, sitting to see the woman better. "Why? Why would I want to do that?"

"Because his mind is affecting your every day, and your parents love you. They're concerned."

"No, they're not!" She frowned harder. "Maybe Daddy is, but Mom thinks this is a waste of time. She didn't want me coming in here in the first place. This is all Daddy's fault!"

"Jackie, I know it's hard to admit. You've grown accustomed to listening to him. This doesn't mean you won't! But when incidents as strong as the latest one occur, you'll be able to block it."

"But I don't need any help. My grandmother already showed me how to do that." Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. "I was just sleeping."

"And this is why the therapy will help you." The doctor smiled. "Don't worry. It will be fine."

"I don't need any help! If someone needs help, it's my soulmate!" Jackie bit her bottom lip. Maybe she shouldn't been saying things like that.

Doctor Galler blinked a couple of times then wrote something down and looked back at her. "Why would your soulmate need help?"

"It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"It's … his dad hasn't come back in two years." Jackie sighed. "He constantly thinks about it."

"Oh, well—"

"And his mother." She swallowed. The doctor titled her head to one side, waiting for her to wake up from her small world and tell her all about her soulmate's mother. "She works so hard…"

"Like yours?"

"I don't know. But she hurts him. A lot." Jackie closed her eyes and tried to shake off those times she'd been taken by surprise by her soulmate's pleas for it to stop. "It's scary," she said. "HE needs help."

People weren't able to hear their soulmate's first and last name in their thoughts. It never came through, even if the person constantly referred to him- or herself by name. It sucked.

Had she known who her soulmate was, she would've asked her daddy to save him already.

But his mother kept chasing him around their house, making him sad and angry. It scared her that out there, there was someone who would hurt other people like that. And she prayed for it to stop for him and for her parents never to be that way.

"It's awful," she said, but the doctor said nothing.

After that, Daddy took Jackie to every session himself, waited for her to come out confused and sleepy, dropped her at the mansion, and got back to work.

Jackie never heard her soulmate again, even when the therapy taught her how to block just his thoughts.

Had she blocked him out of her head and heart, too?

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** Jackie and Hyde get to see the sunflowers and talk. In the flashback, Hyde hears something important thank to a major first with Jackie during the summer of 1978.


	4. Plea

**A/N:** Hi, everyone! I'm moving into a new house and I won't have internet for the weekend, so I decided to post this chapter today in order to not leave without updating. I hope you ejoy it! Thanks for the support, you guys are the best!

Also, the first scene of this chapter is NSFW (smut), from "July, 1978" to "November 28, 1983".

* * *

 _July, 1978_

Jackie's bed made Hyde feel as if she were around him all the time. It had started to cost him to get up and leave the house when her bed absorbed his shadow better than talking to Mrs. Forman or Donna ever did.

Jackie giggled at his hand touching her sides. She was ticklish almost everywhere, and if he was careful, he could steal a moan out of her laugh. All of her body was warm but her feet, and she liked to be loud and enthusiastic during intimacy.

He'd learned all this in the long days of summer, and he was sure—so freakin' sure—he'd fallen in love with her even before he recognized the taste of her mind. He hadn't needed her thoughts to find her and know her. Somehow they fit together, and no stupid predesigned destiny was going to dictate their story.

If he hadn't known she would never look past it, he'd happily tell her they were soulmates and that he could hear her thoughts when she was raw and real in the pool of her mind and heart getting together. She wasn't ready to know yet, and to give her the power of that information could terminate what they had built on their own.

Meanwhile, they could enjoy their company like this, minding their own business in a world where no one would tell them they couldn't be together, where to kiss her was what he was good for and all he ever wanted to do.

She'd been born connected to his thoughts, but she had grown up to be so much more. Somehow she'd shown up in his path, and he only had to take her hand. Nothing mattered after that. She made the world quiet and shone small, then big and only bigger, in the middle of his grayest days.

" _Steven…"_ she moaned. He looked up to find her mouth and eyes shut, and he couldn't help but smile. _"Oh, he's perfect. God, he's everything."_

Her mouth opened but only let out an actual moan, and he licked his lips. She didn't know her heart was beating so loud, he heard her mind inside his own head. His hands moved from her sides, up to her chest in a slow motion, making her smile and open her eyes.

" _This is so different. It's so … good. I'm going to cry…"_

She looked at him instead. Her eyes were shining with what he recognized as tears of joy, and her lips crashed into his, making him fall into her bed with her on top.

He had heard her a lot during this summer.

After their first kiss, her mind was blank and transmitted only white noise to his head. But they had kissed again, and now she was constantly happy or scared. Most times, he was able to make the fear go away and leave space only for the happy. But in times like these, when they were about to be intimate, she'd become quiet again.

Until today.

 **Until We Get There**

 **IV. Plea**

" _I want him,"_ her mind sang into his head, and it went directly between his legs. Hyde swallowed, going for a kiss again as his crotch touched hers. She let out a louder moan, her mind yelling, _"Yes, I want him!"_ in his, and—fuck. He needed to control himself, or he'd end up inside her, and they weren't yet there. Not yet.

"Look at you, all a mess and red…"

"I'm not red!" she said, but her cheeks went redder, and he smiled. She was wonderful. "You're red!"

He surely was. He was warm everywhere, and by now she'd probably realized he got full body blushes when too invested in the moment. She had a way to drive him crazy and press all his buttons with just her face shining in bliss. He had never felt this way with anyone in his life.

No chick had that effect on him, of undoing him to the point of moaning loud and to almost yell, and they hadn't done much but touch each other. She wasn't even that good yet at giving handjobs, but the level of closeness between them was enough to give him a new kind of high every time.

He moved them, making her rest on the mattress, and he went on top, gently positioning himself between her legs, rubbing again where both could moan in each other's mouth, and there she stopped thinking.

"You know what I want?" His dirty talk had her drooling; he knew that. Her chest contracted as she held her breath, waiting for his lips to unravel his game.

He kissed her neck, gently and slowly rubbing himself between her legs, making her grab at his shoulders as she moaned. His mouth made a path to her ear. A hot ball had formed in his belly, and he needed to free that pressure, but they weren't there, not just yet.

Finally, his tongue licked behind her ear, and Jackie shuddered, pushing against his crotch, searching for more friction. If they kept going this way, they'd come in their underwear like virgins.

"I want to taste you," he said, and her breath caught in her throat. He smiled and tenderly bit at her earlobe. "I want to open your legs, take off your panties, and open you with my tongue."

She moved under him, spreading her legs to hug his waist and rub herself against him. He moaned deeply, almost losing his ideas in her perfume and perfect form. But she kept him present by tugging at his shirt. He took it off and almost laughed at her reaction inside his head.

Her hands touched his skin, and he was glad she couldn't hear him. She'd confessed to him she hadn't been able to listen to her soulmate for years, and she suspected it was due to some therapy her father made her have. But Hyde would be glad if he were the one in her mind.

"You want me there…" It wasn't a question. He didn't need to ask because her thoughts told him she loved the prospect. "Can I?" Yet he was only going for it if she was sure.

" _God, yesyesyesyesyes!'_ her mind shouted as she nodded with a shy smile. He bent over, kissing her deeply, taking time to explore her mouth as his hands took off her skirt and her panties. His erection was hurting him, but his focus was fully on her, and he kissed his way down her body.

Her mind became quiet. The only sound in the room was of her foggy breathing and the sound of clothes moving and rubbing against each other.

Kissing her skin felt better than one might think. She must've liked it, too, because her mind started up again, and she giggled at the sensation of his beard against her thigh.

"You have to tell me if you don't like something," he said, looking up at her. Her fingers were close to her mouth. She was nervous and feeling shy, as if she hadn't done this before. "I don't care if the mood is lost," he said. "You tell me."

She nodded.

Of course, the smell was familiar. Sex and sweat didn't change much outside of feelings, but the warmth and sensation of her was new. It felt better than expected, and—man, he was going to mark her with his beard, wasn't he? He smiled at the idea and softly touched inside her with his tongue.

She left out a soft sigh as her thoughts shouted, _"_ _OhGodOhGodOhGod!"_ She was so vocal in her mind. It was impressive. This was also incredibly new. He'd always liked to hear his partner, but Jackie was giving him double stimulation by moaning loudly and yelling in his mind, vibrating through his body in all possible ways.

It felt so different. Everything felt new and incredible with her. Even when he recognized that one thing or two hadn't been perfect or as good, even the fact that she was learning and wanted to learn with him, everything became … so good.

"Oh, Steven!" she said, and her thoughts echoed it inside his mind. Hearing her say it and think it was also a very unique sensation. It made goosebumps rise on his skin.

Soon her hand tugged on his hair. She didn't guide him or push him away. She only tugged lazily and kept moaning his name like she didn't know any other word.

Man, he'd hated his name for so long, to the point of being known by only his last name. But Jackie used it with a new meaning, as if she had renamed him. And maybe she had. Maybe it all felt new because they were now two different people from the kids watching bad TV all summer.

" _This is so different…"_ she thought into his skull. _"So nice and hot. … He's so good. He's the best. The best!"_

Her legs closed too tightly around his head, and he opened them again, this time putting one over his shoulder and the other under his arm to maintain the access.

" _Oh, God … why does this look so hot?'_ She tugged at his hair again, and—yeah, she was getting off at the sight of him eating her out.

She kept sending awards for his performance directly to his mind in her moans and thoughts, but it all stopped.

"Oh, God. Oh, God, Steven … Steven!" Her mind went blank, and she arched her back, giving him a new angle to work in until he felt warmth around his tongue. "Steven!" She kept repeating his name, and he licked her through her orgasm. The spasms in her body also told about his good job.

" _He's perfect. He's goddamn perfect! Oh my God, I'm going to cry! All this time, and I didn't know it could be so good!"_

Not sure if her statements were sad or good, he wiped his mouth clean with his hand and wrist, put his body between her legs, and kissed her neck.

She was right. It had been perfect and too different. He couldn't look at her face and pretend this was just physical anymore.

It never was.

" _I love him…"_ her mind said, and he swallowed, but his body didn't tense. None of him felt cold. His erection was even harder and became even more conscious of her body when her tiny fingers pressed against it. _"I do, I do, I really do…"_

"Jackie, you don't have to—"

"Shut up, I want to."

He couldn't help but laugh, her hand wrapped around the bulge in his pants, and he finally looked up at her. Her entire face was shining, and she smiled at him when he looked from her lips to her eyes, and—shit. She was in love with him.

" _Please, love me,"_ she thought, and his mouth felt dry. _"Don't hurt me. Please."_

"Kiss me," she said, and he had to blink a couple of times before going for it. She'd undone her fly, and her hand was now touching inside his pants as the other tried to pull them off.

She loved him.

 **~0~**

 _November 28, 1983_

She was … glowing. All these flowers should've been following her with that shine.

"Steven, look!" She gestured to another big-ass flower, and Hyde couldn't help but smile. She was too enthusiastic about a bunch of sunflowers planted in long rows. That was it. That was the tour. "Oh, it's so beautiful!"

But she had loved every second of it, and just to see her smile like that, any boring tour to anywhere was worth it.

They had been told this nursery was done almost twenty years ago to commemorate some old lady's life. The owner's grandmother had loved sunflowers to the point of obsession. She wore yellow every day during her last years, talked about the meaning of it, and kept sunflowers in her house until the day she had passed.

Jackie didn't care much about it, but she had breathed in the life that spread under her feet and had smiled wider than she ever had in the last year.

It reminded him of the way she used to smile before Chicago. Her summer smile, capable of making his day even in the most difficult of situations. His pants started to hurt, and _fuck_. He wanted her. So bad. And they hadn't done anything in days.

"Come on, come on!" She ran away from him, as if wanting to get lost in the row of green and yellow that surrounded them. At the end of the row, she spun once and stopped to look up and sigh. "I love this place. I want to live here!"

Of course she did. The girl made of sunshine would love a place filled with sunflowers. It was only natural. Hyde sighed, met her at the middle of the row, and they both went in for a kiss at the same time.

Her arms rounded his neck and his her waist. It was a calm kiss, with closed eyes and trapped breaths, tender like better nights of golden bliss. For the first time since they left Point Place, he knew they were going to be fine.

" _I love you…"_ her mind told him, and he deepened the kiss, knowing this time she was conscious of how her thoughts might be transmitted to him. _"I love you so much that I don't really care why you lied about this."_

But they needed to talk.

Her forgiveness was precious, it had always been, and her heart was bigger than anything in the world. She was capable of looking through him in a way nobody could, and she always thought the best of him. She always gave him all the chances he needed, and she deserved his honesty.

"Jackie…" he said. She still had her eyes closed and moved her lips to indicate she wanted another kiss. He gave into her, happily opening his mouth for her tongue to explore. His hands cradled her face, and when they parted, she finally opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Hey."

"Hi."

Maybe she was trying to avoid the conversation. Being the one wanting it to happen was a strange feeling, but for once he felt like he could understand her insecurities a little better. It was amazing how, even knowing what was on her mind in times of great emotion, he still didn't find her predictable.

"I'm sorry," he said, fingers putting a lock of hair behind her ear. She frowned, lost in his words. "For lying, I—"

She sighed, making a face of discomfort, but she soon smiled in understanding. "I don't care, Steven."

"You should." He swallowed. She had been lied her whole life. He couldn't continue that chain. "I lied to you about something very important to you. But I was—" Again, he swallowed. Why did words leave his mouth so sour? "You have to understand something—I grew up thinking this soulmate thing didn't matter at all. My parents weren't soulmates, Bud constantly made me feel like crap for having the damn Gift and … I couldn't tell anyone about it. It was…" He tilted his head and rolled his eyes, just now realizing how stupid it all sounded.

But she said nothing. She wasn't judging him either. She stood there, waiting for him to be ready to talk again or just accept her forgiveness. Her hands soothed his chest in soft motions, caressing up and down, then to his shoulders and back to his pecks and abdomen, then started their journey again.

She did that every time he couldn't talk and tried to comfort him with her silence, thinking he might appreciate her quiet better than talking. More times than not, he ached for the tone of her voice and ridiculous words that amused him.

Right now, it would've been a blessing to hear her. But both her mouth and mind were closed. She was only looking at him, and he swallowed a damn third time.

"I didn't want you to think you _had_ to be with me," he finally said. It burned to let out those words, and he was ready for her anger. Her shoulders had tensed, and her hands had stopped moving. He put his lips in a hard, thin line. "I…" he murmured, closing his eyes. "I wanted you to be with me because of me, not—destiny or something."

All this silence was killing him; then her thoughts crashed against his skull in a harsh way.

He opened his eyes. She was looking down at their feet, and he immediately put his hands over hers on his chest, wanting to draw her attention and see her expression. But she didn't respond. Her questions, insults, surprise, and guilt flooded his mind, and finally she took her hands away and turned her back on him, walking a few steps ahead.

"Jackie…"

She lifted her index finger, asking for a second or maybe the rest of her life. But he kept his cool as best he could, staying behind as she walked away and bit her nails. Then she came back with her head still down until she was standing right in front of him.

The sun was burning his neck, and he finally noticed how the temperature had gone down a bit. Yet not even the chilly air made him shiver the way her mind going silent again did. She looked up at him and sighed deeply, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You think I don't … that I wasn't going to love you because I thought you weren't my soulmate?" she said, and he shook his head. "Then…?"

"I mean—I don't think that now, but…"

"You thought that?" she almost yelled. He looked around and noticed a small group of tourists were going on their tour, and he and Jackie both fell silent as they passed.

Once the tourists were gone, he looked back at her and licked his lips before talking. "I used to, yes." There was nothing new about that, but he understood why it was upsetting for her. It would have been for him, too. Man, he might not have even stood with her if she'd been the one telling him this crap. "But I don't believe that anymore. Jackie, I don't."

She didn't seem all that convinced by his answer, and there it was. This was exactly why he couldn't keep lying to her anymore. If he allowed it to happen, if he let the world keep hitting her with this crap, that light coming from her heart was going to die.

"I thought I was gonna tell you after I became sure what we had that summer wasn't just a way to get over Kelso."

She opened her mouth, but he put a finger over her lips and asked with his eyes for the chance to talk. She closed her mouth again and straightened her back without uncrossing her arms.

"And after that," he said, "I needed to be sure the soulmate crap wasn't in the way. Because—what if I can listen to you, but the kid you used to hear wasn't me anyway? I needed to know you weren't gonna bail on me if that happened—"

"But it's you!" she said, and her hands flew to her mouth, shutting it. He blinked a couple of times. "I mean … I'm pretty sure It's you."

"Why?"

"Well…" She sighed. "You don't wanna know."

"Jackie." He put his hands on her shoulders. "Why?"

She didn't seem comfortable with how the tables had turned, and his hands left her body. Color returned to her face, and no. This wasn't how he wanted things to be.

"Listen, Steven…" She swallowed and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her other hand searched a spot on his wrist and she caressed a small scar he had there. Hyde frowned. "I understand why you did that. I guess…" She looked down again. It wasn't a sight he liked at all. "I don't blame you. I was pretty awful. Still am."

"What? No, Jackie. That's not what I mean. It's just—"

"It's okay." She seemed nervous when she looked up again. "I have to confess something, too…" She clasped her hands together over her chest as if in prayer. "I have known you are my soulmate for years, like I said. I know you are the kid I used to hear…" She'd told him this already, but he sighed anyway and nodded. "I don't … want to talk about how I know. Not today, okay? Please?"

Jackie had a way of saying things when she truly meant them. How she looked at a person usually gave her away. Whatever had told her he'd been the kid in her skull, he supposed it was something bad. And it made sense. She had the luck of having to hear him when he'd lived with Edna, when things were always gray and his sunglasses acquired meaning beyond him.

He nodded, rounded her with his arms, and she hugged him back strong and warm. It felt nice to have her in his arms like this, even though she soon was touching his back with insistence. With this, only two more things were left, and he'd know if all was truly okay between them.

"I love you," she said against his chest, and he kissed her forehead. "I don't need God to tell me that."

That was good to know.

 **~0~**

She ran in the sunflowers like a little kid, giggling and calling out for Steven to get her.

Jackie's cheeks hurt for how long she'd been smiling, and she found herself hiding behind the nearest tree, slowly getting a glimpse of the path she'd run from, waiting to see Steven walking around, searching for her.

Instead, silence rounded her, and her shoulders felt hot then cold, cold again and hot gain. She looked behind her and to her sides. Nothing. Had she really lost Steven this time? They'd been playing tag for what felt like hours, and he always trapped her before she realized what was happening. She thought she could win this time. Maybe she'd truly lost him in the sunflowers.

A laugh scraped her throat, and she shut her mouth with a hand to her lips and waited in silence. Maybe Steven would call out, and she could find him.

Nothing happened in the next two minutes, and she swallowed, walking towards the path she had run through. The shadow of the tree was cold. It felt good on her skin and feet, but Steven's absence was making it feel like full-on winter.

Her feet crashed on the ground, making a small sound as she walked and looked around. "Steven?" she said. Her voice sounded too small, as if she was about to cry. And for God's sake, was she really getting this sentimental just because he hadn't found her during their game of tag?

"GOT YA!"

Steven almost tackled her down, lifting her from the ground in his arms and spinning her with him. She laughed at the sudden movement and held onto his neck and shoulders. His laughter filled her mind, and she enjoyed the way his smell surrounded her when he stopped moving, and she realized she had closed her eyes.

"You're crazy!" she said, opening her eyes and smiling wide at him. Her feet still weren't on the ground.

"Maybe," he said and kissed the tip of her nose. "But I won again…"

She loved him like this, playful and happy, free from his masks and insecurities. She was lucky to know him this way. He didn't allow many people to see him without his defenses, and he kissed her laugh, slowly letting her back to the ground, her arms around his neck.

"You won, all right," she murmured against his lips. Her hips followed his, and her body claimed his warmth. "And I owe you your birthday present, too." She kissed him harder this time. Their tongues touched, and the heat between them increased.

They never minded the open. Most of her best memories with Steven were outside, over the flatbed of his El Camino. Kissing him like this in a field of flowers seemed unlikely even in her wildest dreams, mostly because she knew they wouldn't come true. But right now, feeling his body pressed against her as she leaned against the tree she'd used for hiding, everything seemed possible.

She smiled in their kiss, slowly pushing her hips up, and he groaned in her mouth. The vibrations made her feel him at her center. But today was for him, and she wanted to give him as much as he always gave her—and a little bit more.

Because she'd made him go through the whole traditional wedding stuff and then called it off when she panicked. She'd knocked on his door and said it wasn't right. She needed out, and she wasn't going anywhere without him. In a heartbeat, he took her hand, and they ran together from the church to his car and then to the first gas station where both changed their clothes.

People had looked at them in disbelief, watching as she'd entered the public bathroom in a boring wedding dress and he in a black tux she ached to take off him.

She kissed his jawline. The small noises he was making and how present he was every time they were together was enough to send her to the edge, but she wanted to be stellar today, hold him, remind him they belonged in each other's arms, and she was going nowhere without him.

"Um…" Someone cleared his throat behind them, and both jumped at the intrusion. In front of them, the tour guide was smiling awkwardly and a little bit red. "Sorry to bother you, Mr. Hyde, but we—we're kind of still around…"

"Whistling and clapping, kids! Whistling and clapping, everybody!" An old man walked by. He wasn't part of the tour group, and he stopped in front of Jackie. "We have children here. This isn't a lonely area, you see?"

The tourists were a family with three children. The oldest of the kids, a girl, seemed happy to have seen Jackie and Steven kiss. Jackie knew those eyes and that expression. The girl was daydreaming about her own kissing, probably with her soulmate she didn't know yet. She couldn't be more than thirteen. The other two kids, a couple of boys, didn't seem like they understood what was going on.

But their parents were embarrassed. The dad was trying to hide a smirk, and the mom was blushing, and for some reason Jackie knew she and Steven weren't being judged. The situation was awkward, but it was as if this place made everyone better by default. Maybe it was the yellow.

"That's what the bridal suite is for!" the old man said, and the mom laughed. "Now, please continue your tour." He waved at the tour guide, who led the family out of Jackie and Steven's way.

Steven finally let out a giggle, and his arm rounded her waist.

"Sorry for that, but this is a very public place," the old man said to them. "You two came in this morning, right?" He gestured between them. "Just married? My daughter told me about your wedding dress, said it's a dream and blah, blah. She's about to have her sweet sixteen, and my pockets are bleeding."

Jackie finally smiled at the situation, giggling while hugging Steven's waist. His erection was almost gone, and he shifted to hide it. "Oh, she hasn't seen it right. That dress is awful."

"How can it be?" The old man seemed surprised but nothing else. "Let me guess, bad reception but better honeymoon."

She and Steven looked at each other, as if asking whether they should say the truth. She swallowed. She couldn't let anyone think she got married in that aberration of a dress.

"We aren't married," she said. "Engaged." She showed her hand, and Steven squeezed her waist, like approving of what she'd said.

Her heart felt lighter.

"Ah!" The old man took a long look at her ring then squeezed Steven's shoulder. "Happiness always finds its way. Good luck, you two … but to make babies, go to your room. Please."

She and Steven laughed and almost ran away from the scene, and she wondered who the man was and if he had a name. For the way he had spoken, she figured he was the son of the woman this nursery was made for.

It was a wonderful place. The peace it gave her seemed impossible to achieve lately. She was grateful for it.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** Jackie calls Mrs. Forman, Hyde learns something, and there's something to wreck.


	5. Torn Apart

**A/N:** Hello, everyone! I'm sorry I didn't post on Thursday, but I prefer to post with the other ZMA authors. That way, we don't get confused back at tumblr with the reblogs and other updates. That said, I'm very happy to see how you all have been liking this fic so far.

Thank you for your loving words! It means a lot to me. And thanks to MistyMountainHop for the support and the beta on this work, it wouldn't had been possible for me to post without her. Thank you!

* * *

Jackie loved Steven.

There was no doubt of that, and sometimes she smiled at her younger self for wanting to deny it when they first kissed and for being so scared while they discovered each other's bodies and minds during that summer in 1978.

It all seemed far away as they walked, hand-in-hand, back to their hotel room after lunch.

The food had been okay but not out of this world like the rest of Sun's Realm. The restaurant wasn't as good as the rest of the installations, either. It was small and too open. She felt cold while sitting, so Steven had moved his chair and put his arm around her to warm her up.

November was saying goodbye to the fall, and sooner rather than later, winter would be among them, giving her the chance to use her best clothes and an easy excuse to put her hands on her Steven even more. Just like they were doing now.

"I say we call it a day," he said and yawned. He was probably still tired from driving almost all night long and then waking up earlier than her. He wasn't a morning person, but he must've been pretty upset to be up before her. Maybe he hadn't slept at all. "We can vegetate in front of the TV and cuddle each other like cats."

She smiled at that and squeezed his hand. "Sounds good. You almost sold me on that idea."

"All right. We can vegetate in front of the TV and cuddle … while naked."

She closed her eyes and smiled wider, stopping to hug his waist and give him a peck on the lips. "You got yourself a deal, Mr. Hyde."

He smiled at her and leaned his forehead against hers, breathing her in. "You are such a dirty chick…"

"You love me!" She walked away, playfully jumping in front of him when he looked up. "I really have to call Mrs. Forman. I don't want her worried for us…" She sighed.

"You saw where the phones are? I'm checking if my lighter is in the El Camino."

"Yeah." She played with the hem of his blue shirt. He smiled at her and took her lips softly. "Then … you'll see what I have planned for us."

"Excellent." He smiled wide and happy. Jackie kissed him again, and they walked in different directions.

He still needed to know why she had decided to run away.

Steven was being a saint to her during this day, and it should've been his. He should've been angry and yelling at her for being such an idiot. But no. Steven would never do something like that, no matter how mad he was at her.

He was also nothing like his parents. She remembered that fear of his echoing in her head when they hadn't even met. He needed to know that, too, but not today.

 **Until We Get There**

 **V. Torn Apart**

Maybe after talking to Mrs. Forman, Jackie would find her voice to explain to Steven her reasons for calling off the wedding.

The Formans' house was probably packed, and anyone could answer the phone. She hoped whoever did would let her talk to Mrs. Forman immediately and wouldn't bomb her with questions about her and Steven.

Soon, the phone was picked, and Laurie's voice made her swallow.

"Hi, Laurie," Jackie said. "Is your mom around?"

"Fuck. Jackie?" Laurie laughed. "Holy crap. How did the orphan boy got you to run away with him?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. Of course everyone would think it was Steven's idea. She tried to keep her temper, but Laurie's venom was one the few burns she couldn't truly avoid, especially when directed at Steven.

"It was MY idea. Now, please, I really want to talk to Mrs. Forman…"

"Your idea?" Laurie went silent, and Jackie recognized this white noise as different from the one in her mind when she tried to concentrate and listen to Steven.

She hadn't heard him when they'd first kissed, and the numbness of her mind eclipsed her heart, and no feeling was felt until the disappointment of not finding out he was her soulmate dissipated. When they kissed in the basement that summer, nothing. Also nothing when she first reached an orgasm with him and when she made him touch heaven.

"Wow. All right, I respect that." Laurie said. "Wait a sec…" The phone was left aside, and Jackie heard Laurie talking to Mrs. Forman.

Mrs. Forman's surprised gasp made Jackie smile a little, but it didn't allow her to run from her line of thinking.

Because she hadn't heard Steven when they talked on the phone 'til the sun was up, and she had described the way the dawn looked through her window and laughed with him after he recognized how fucked he was with the Formans' phone bill.

"Jackie?" Mrs. Forman's voice lightened Jackie's mood, and she breathed in. "Oh, dear Lord! We were so worried! Where are you? Is Steven with you? He is, isn't he? Tell him there are no cookies for him this Christmas! And there aren't any for you, either, young lady! How dare you two leave us all this worried?"

It made Jackie smile and her nose burn as Mrs. Forman continued to call her out for leaving her own wedding and everyone waiting for them, but Jackie's shoulders started to shake, and she couldn't help but sob on the phone.

Mrs. Forman went silent. She didn't ask if Jackie was okay or if something had happened. Mrs. Forman let her cry on the phone like she'd let Jackie cry on her shoulder back home, and Jackie was grateful for that, even if she couldn't find her voice to say so.

After what felt like a lifetime, she calmed down enough to explain herself.

"We—we're fine, Mrs. Forman," she said. "Steven's in the car searching for something. We're going to leave maybe tomorrow in the afternoon."

"And where are you, honey?"

"I'm not sure…" She sighed. "We also don't know where we're going."

Which was too accurate in every sense.

Mrs. Forman sighed and laughed nervously before saying, "You kids do everything in such weird ways. Eric left Donna at the altar, but you two? You left together!"

Jackie tried to smile, but nothing came out. She nodded even if Mrs. Forman couldn't see her. "Mrs. Forman? It was my idea."

"Well, that's a plot twist…" Mrs. Forman's voice sounded so nervous that it made Jackie smile, at least. "How—how is he taking it?"

The question almost surprised her, but Jackie decided to answer. "Steven's fine. We … had a small fight, but it's okay now."

"Of course you did." Mrs. Forman sighed, and Jackie couldn't find it in herself to feel angry at that. "Jackie, why? Why did you decide to—?"

A sob interrupted Mrs. Forman. It came from Jackie and surprised her for the raw feeling of it.

"I'm scared!" Jackie finally said. Tears were rolling down her cheeks again, and she looked back at the lobby's entrance, as if she could see Steven and keep him from walking in on her being this weak and stupid. "I know Steven is the one for me, and I want to be with him forever. I want us to get married and be a family, but—"

"Jackie? Honey, what's wrong?"

"I used to be a Listener, Mrs. Forman." Everyone knew that, but Jackie needed the whole story to be clear. "But I stopped listening to my soulmate's thoughts when I was eleven-years-old. The last time I heard him? it was awful! I had a Trance, and my dad got really scared and—"

"Jackie, Jackie—"

"It was Steven." She closed her eyes and exhaled. It felt like she'd been holding her breath for an hour. "All along, it was him. I didn't realize it until we were a year into our relationship … when he met Mr. Barnett."

"Oh." Mrs. Forman paused. "And what's the matter with that, honey?"

"Why I can't hear him anymore, Mrs. Forman?" To admit this aloud was something Jackie never wanted to do, but it needed to be out. She looked back at the entrance, but nothing happened. "What if it means I'm robbing him of being happy?"

"What? Jackie, no, no!" Mrs. Forman said.

Jackie shut her mouth and looked back again. She spotted Steven with half his body inside the El Camino, and her legs weakened. He was probably searching for his lighter like crazy. Had he lost it?

"Jackie, how could you say that? Robbing him of being happy? How? From whom?" Mrs. Forman laughed, and Jackie blinked a couple of times. "Honey, I've known that boy for so long, believe me … I know when he's genuinely happy. And the longest I've seen him stay like that, it's when he's with you."

Jackie's shoulders fell. Her chest hurt with warmth, and she watched as Steven closed the door of his precious car and locked it.

"Soulmates or not," Mrs. Forman said, "that's not stopping him from loving you."

"I know that…" Jackie murmured, Steven had seen her, and he waved. She waved back, almost shyly, then turned to wipe the tears off her face. "It's just—all my life I fought against the idea of being a Listener as something bad. But right now? I wish I had only listened to him once, like everyone else."

"Darling, being a Listener is a blessing," Mrs. Forman said. She and Mr. Forman were both Listeners, and they were soulmates, too. "You just have to be patient. When Mr. Forman was out of the country, sometimes there would be weeks where I couldn't hear his thoughts. I used to go nuts! I always thought maybe he had died, and I spend those weeks crying myself to sleep and waking up early to check the lists of the dead…" She sighed. "And then one day, out of nowhere, I would hear a love confession. Or him wishing to have my special blueberry jam for dinner."

Jackie smiled at that, Steven was walking toward her now, and she wasn't sure if she wanted him with her or not at the moment. Her nose and eyes were red and puffy. He shouldn't see her like this.

"You know how it is," Mrs. Forman went on. "Hearing your soulmate's thoughts is never constant and doesn't get into a routine."

"Mrs. Forman that is so beautiful…" Jackie said. Steven was getting closer. "But it's not the same. I haven't heard Steven since I was eleven-years-old… "

"But what about that, Jackie?" Mrs. Forman said. "You already know he's your soulmate. Most people don't get to remember their soulmate's thoughts. You two are as lucky as any Listener! … So this is why you called off your wedding? Are you afraid Steven isn't your soulmate?"

"No, not at all. I know he's my soulmate, and I'm happy to know I'm his, too."

"Hey." Steven smiled at her. "Mrs. Forman?" he said, and she nodded. "Cool."

"Mrs. Forman…" she said but looked at Steven right in the eyes. He froze in front of her, and she swallowed. "I called off the wedding because it had become something it was not." She took Steven's hand. "I realized that forcing my dreams onto Steven wasn't good at all, and I let my mother take care of the entire wedding because … because I don't want to get married like this. I want to be with Steven. I do. But when we truly get married, I want it to be something we both want. Not something I made him believe he needed to do for me if he truly loves me."

His expression morphed from surprise to incredulity and then to relief. But tears started to roll down her face again.

"And the worse part is, by doing that, I made him believe I don't want him."

"Oh, honey … no. I'm sure he doesn't believe that."

"He does!" she said.

Tears blinded her, and Steven wiped them from her face with his free hand. He held her other hand, strong and firm, letting her know he was still there.

"I got mad at him because he'd just confessed to having lied about something I consider important. But the truth is, I don't care. I'm just afraid he—I'm afraid I've failed to make clear that I love him, no matter what, and that he can trust me."

He caressed her cheek and smiled at her, as if he understood the admission was for him.

"And that … I don't care if we are soulmates or not. I want to be with him, married or not. He shouldn't be afraid of losing me because he's not going to."

If Mrs. Forman actually said something next, Jackie couldn't hear it. Her attention was fully on Steven's loving smile and the way he was looking at her, as if she'd lifted a too heavy weight from his shoulders.

Admitting all this was—it was new, to say the least. But she'd been wrong many times before, like he had been. She always forgave him at the end of the day. Nothing was worth losing him. And, because Steven loved her too, he'd forgive her this time.

"Mrs. Forman?" Jackie said after a silent conversation with his eyes. "Steven is here…" He scratched at the back of his head. "You want to talk to him?"

"Oh, yes! It's his birthday!" Mrs. Forman said. "Wait, no! I'm angry at him! Put him on the phone. He's going to listen to me now!"

Jackie chuckled as she passed the phone to him. He made a face, and she said, "I'm so sorry, baby, but you have to. She's your mother."

He said nothing in return but held her hand tightly, and Jackie sighed, feeling free for the first time in two years since the preparation for the wedding started.

Two down, just one to go. Jackie put a hand on her belly, wondering... Just wondering.

 **~0~**

 _November 27, 1983_

Jackie's mind was messy and preoccupied.

The only time Hyde remembered having her inside his head like this was when she'd gone to Chicago and thought him incapable of commitment.

He swallowed, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked sick. And it surprised him that it wasn't from the black tux he wore and the fact the stupid bowtie looked fine, but because Jackie was—she wasn't okay, man.

Wasn't today supposed to be the happiest day of her life? Lately, it seemed like happiness was something she could never reach ever again. All the times he'd heard her were out of stress and anger toward her mother, sadness, and fear.

"Fuck…" He took off the bowtie, and it landed on the mirror, as if his tantrum could banish all doubts in Jackie's mind.

He couldn't hear what they specifically were. He was sure she didn't know either, but she was doubting this wedding shit she'd pestered him for—fuck, no. Man, how many times had he blamed her for whatever happened between them?

After hearing her in Chicago, he'd decided to stop. It cost him at the beginning, and then it was as easy as breathing. But somehow, since the wedding preparations had been taken up by Pam Burkhart, all his bad habits returned, and he couldn't help but welcome them when it was easy and lazy to do.

" _I have to get out of here!'_ was the first clear thought Jackie transmitted, and it left a cold feeling at the base of his spine. His eyes opened wide in front of him, and he looked at himself, as if asking himself if he should look for her, talk her into being calm and convince her to be okay.

Fuck, what? Was he going to convince her to marry him now? Who was he?

Hyde swallowed and licked his bottom lip before walking towards the door to open it. Outside, Kelso and Forman talked between them, giggling like little kids, and when they noticed him, they stood there with a stupid smile, looking at him.

"Oh!" Forman put a hand on his chest. "Look at you all dressed up. I'm so proud."

"I'm gonna cry!" Kelso said with a big smile and a fake about-to-cry expression.

Hyde rolled his eyes and gestured to the hallway. "Out. I need to be alone."

"What?" Kelso said. "No! If we leave you alone, you're gonna run out on Jackie, and she'll kill us!"

"Moron!" Forman slapped Kelso's shoulders. "Shut up!"

So that was why they'd been in front of his door. Assholes.

"Hey, buddy. Are you sure?" Forman said. "I see you're ready, so … why don't we go to the wedding hall?" Forman offered a stupid grin Hyde wanted to punch.

" _God, let Steven still be there!"_ Jackie said in his mind, and he swallowed. She was coming _. "I can't do this without him!"_

Things were getting complicated. Whatever was happening with Jackie, she expected him to understand it and roll with it. At least in a superficial way, her mind thought so. Maybe this was one of those times when she needed him to be firm and show her this was something he wanted, too.

"Nah. Listen," he said. "I just need a minute. Please."

It seemed like, "Please," did the magic. He swallowed as his friends looked at each other until Forman nodded and pulled Kelso by the wrist.

"Hey, Forman?" Hyde said, and Forman looked back with his hands inside his pockets. "You 're a good friend."

Forman didn't say anything but only smiled. He put a hand on his chest again, slowly going back to walking with Kelso, who'd started complaining about whether or not he wasn't a good friend to Hyde, too.

But a good friend wouldn't pester Hyde's girlfriend into breaking up with him. A good friend wouldn't take advantage of a bad situation to get into her pants again, either.

So, no. Kelso wasn't a good friend.

" _Good Lord, he's going to hate me!'_ Jackie's thoughts echoed inside Hyde's head, and he closed the door, waiting for her to knock. _"What am I gonna tell him? Hi, baby, let's run away together. I can't get married like this!'_

He swallowed when she swallowed, too. And he looked at himself in the mirror once more.

There was something about the way she was talking to herself, her desperation and willingness to walk to his changing room… This was serious. This was damn serious, and he couldn't accept this decision just because.

Maybe the rest of their lives was in his hands, on the actions he'd decide to take. Convince her to go back and dress up, go away with her from this circus. Fuck.

" _He's going to hate me. I insisted so much on getting married. He's going to hate me so much!"_

And she was wrong. No way was he going to hate her. Maybe he'd be pissed. Or sad. Didn't she want them to be happy forever, as she always said? He thought he was doing the right thing, proposing and giving into her wedding fever. What the hell did she want?

Yes, he was pissed. In small part at her, but the bigger part was at the irony of his life. He'd ended up with a rich father who could've helped him avoid the hell he'd lived as kid. Fell in love with what he said he hated his entire life. But it wasn't enough. His life also had to make him sad at the prospect of _not_ getting married.

Fuck this.

A knock woke him from his thoughts. Jackie knocked a few more times, hardly sounding as desperate as he knew she was. When he opened the door, she was wearing her wedding dress. Her makeup and hair were done, and he swallowed.

"Hey…" he murmured. "Isn't this bad luck or something?"

"I—" She looked at herself then at him. "Oh, my God. You look so foxy!" Her hands landed on his chest, and she slowly moved them up to his face until she cradled his cheeks, looking sad. "You're so handsome, puddin' pop. I'm so sorry."

"Jackie, what's going on?"

She didn't say anything. Her eyes shifted from left to right then focused on him again. He stepped aside, asking her to come in. But she shook her head, took his hand, and squeezed it.

"Baby, I can't do this." Her voice sounded so small and childlike that he had to swallow his damn preoccupation. "I can't. I—this is not what I wanted."

"What do you mean?"

"The—the—the…" She gestured at herself, the skirt of the dress, and he noticed then.

This wasn't her dress.

"My mom chose it, Steven. Just like the flowers and the photographer…" Jackie had started crying, and her makeup was going down with her tears. "We have to get out of here, Steven. Please. Take me away. Please."

He didn't think about it, not even once. He took her hand and stepped outside the room. Closed the door after them, and they walked as fast as their feet allowed, away from Pam's hell.

 **~0~**

 _November 28, 1983_

If what Hyde felt for Jackie wasn't love, then he was lost and would never know what the hell it was.

What else could it be? He'd forgiven her every time she made a mistake that hurt him. Even now, he forgave her for running out on their wedding after all the pestering she'd done about getting married since they were freakin' seventeen.

And she'd forgiven him so many times, too. Too many, he sometimes thought. But she always did. She had this quality he hadn't found in anybody else, of having a heart too big and too heavy for her to carry alone. She needed to love, and she loved with all she was, since that was who she was.

Her pain was his, as were her happiness and sadness. So, fuck, if it wasn't love he felt, then whatever it was could go away. He needed nothing else. He had everything with her and no cosmic design would change that.

"Are you okay in there?" he said, looking at the bathroom door. Jackie had locked herself inside, saying she wanted to try something. "Jackie?"

"I'm—I'm fine," she said, but it sounded strange, and he knocked on the door. "I'm fine, Steven. I'll be out in a second."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She was firm in her answer, and that was enough for him to calm down a little and go back to his previous position, but he couldn't. He'd been sitting for a while, and his ass couldn't bear any more of it. He heard her moving inside the bathroom, and her mind was quiet, so whatever it was, it would be alright. As long as it didn't awaken anything wrong in her, he'd—

"I need a favor," she said, opening the bathroom door. "Steven?"

"I'm listening…"

There was nothing about him in her mind, but he felt her embarrassment and fear. He saw it in the way her hands played with each other, how she moved slowly, dragging the wedding dress train. The white of it wasn't quite white. It had wrinkles everywhere. She'd almost thrown it away in the gas station where they'd changed, but took it anyway.

"Is there a reason why you're wearing your wedding dress?"

"It's not my dress," she said.

He agreed, but here was the thing about the dress: Jackie looked beautiful in it, even if it smushed her boobs and squeezed her waist too much. She looked beautiful in anything she wore, even when she was sick, and more so when she wore nothing but his arms.

What she wore was always important. She talked about who she was through her clothes and showed the world what she wanted it to know, how much she wanted it to know. And this dress, it trapped her into a shape she wasn't and in a color she didn't like. It made her look like someone she no longer was.

It was her mother, trapping her into a model; and her father, teaching her to measure herself in prizes and wealth. She was none of that now. Hyde smiled at her because of that and waited for her to explain why she was wearing this and what favor could she need from him.

"Here…" She took his hands and put them gently at her sides. He was sitting on the bed with her between his legs. She moved his hands over her body, to her back, and he caressed her from there. "Tear it," she said.

"What?"

"Just…" Her hands went again over his, firmly moving them to the zipper at her back. "Wreck it, baby. Please."

They'd done this before. He had. He'd ripped the gown she was wearing that night in Chicago, and she'd gotten turned on by it. He'd never thought about it outside the reconciliation it had meant at the time, and maybe this was it for her, too.

"I thought it cost—"

"I know what it cost," she said. "I know who brought it, too. I don't want it. I don't need it."

This wasn't about the dress. His hands moved to the open zipper, and his fingers felt her skin as he nodded, looking at her face. She was looking back with too sweet eyes, shining like they hadn't for a while, and he knew it was over. This period of listening only to stress, fear, and sadness was over.

Slowly, he stood in front of her and the bed, moving his hands up her back until he found the top of the dress where the zipper was wide open. He closed it just as slowly. She looked at his eyes the whole time, following his lips to hers as they kissed, and he finally tore at the material of the dress.

"Ah!" She jumped in his arms, her face against his chest. The dress didn't open much. It was new and the material strong. But he tore at it again, and the sound echoed in the room.

Her back was exposed now. He moved her to the bed and knelt between her legs, taking the material of the skirt and train in his hands and tearing it.

" _Thank you,"_ he heard inside his head, and the dress's bottom half gave way easier than the top. He kept wrecking it, and her legs opened wider as his urgency to see her naked increased. She was laughing, too, and it made him feel as if time hadn't passed since they first found each other that long summer, and they'd played to discover each other's body.

Once he found skin, his lips landed on her knee. She shuddered at the contact, a small sigh escaped her lips, and he continued kissing her until he found white flounces and small red ribbons. She had put on lingerie, too. It made him smile.

"You like?" she murmured. There was only playfulness in her voice, and—man, she was back. His chick was back. "I chose that specially for today."

Meaning his birthday. He kissed the small ribbon in the middle, and she moaned at the contact.

"Very much," he said. "But…" He leaned over her, making her lie on the mattress as he found the rest of the dress still intact. "I have a job to finish first."

And he tore the rest of the skirt open in the middle, making her moan in the midst of a laugh.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** Jackie and Hyde are loyal to their birthday tradition to get something back.


	6. Where Is Quiet

**A/N:** Hello, everyone. Thank you to the people that took time to leave me a comment, it's nice to find those in hard days. This past week was a nightmare, so I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and leave a comment about it.

This chapter contains tons of sexual material. Like… the three big scenes are during sexual situations, so if you aren't a fan of it, I recommend to better not read this chapter and wait the next one.

* * *

 _November 28, 1983_

Steven was everywhere on her body. From her sweat to the tension in her muscles and the moans out of her mouth.

He kissed her through every torn part of the wedding dress until it was off her body and on the floor where it belonged. It felt freeing to be in his arms, wearing only his kisses and smell. This was where she belonged and the only place she wanted to be for the rest of her life.

Jackie moaned softly. Her fingers marked his back red, and she followed their movement until she lost herself in his skin and the sound of his heavy breath against her neck. "Steven—oh, Steven. I … I—"

No words could leave her mouth, and she smiled in Steven's kiss. Maybe he could hear her thoughts right now, echoing his own. It made the white noise inside her head seem insignificant. The small crack in her heart felt like nothing.

"Wait, wait, wait…" he said and moved off her. Her hips had created more friction against his, and his underwear must've been killing him with the pressure. "You keep doing that, it's gonna rain before the fireworks."

She snorted, biting her bottom lip when his eyes playfully judged her, and she waited while he took off the last piece of his clothes.

"Jackie…" he said, drowning the rest of his words in a deep groan when her hand found his cock and started to stroke softly then stronger, as she'd learned with his guidance. "Holy shhhh…"

She wanted to ask him if it was okay, if he liked what she was doing, but one thing she could never learn was to talk clearly while making love or using her words to turn him on. It always made him laugh, and today she wasn't looking for that.

Instead, she concentrated on the way he moaned against her jaw and cheek, how his hips moved so slowly, as if he were trying to keep them in place, and the fact that he'd closed his eyes and started to kiss her neck. He brought his mouth to her ear and licked at it, gently touching her skin with his teeth.

His own pleasure made her part her legs and want him more. Her mind was a hot mess between praying for more and wanting to give him everything. He got the hint, and when he was finally inside her, she gasped loudly and scratched his back, taking his kiss when his lips found hers.

"I love you," he murmured and she smiled, "I love you so much…" he kept saying, and her eyes opened, noticing his lips were against hers.

 **Until We Get There**

 **VI – Where It's Quiet**

Steven's nose caressed hers. His lips were over hers, and his eyes were closed. Their closeness allowed her to drink in his pleasure and warmth. A wide smile sparked in her when he spoke again. "I'm so in love with you it's insane."

It was odd for him to talk while making love, especially this clearly and long and honest. Jackie swallowed, kissing him when his lips crashed with hers, and his hips moved stronger and faster against hers.

They were still kissing and moaning in each other's mouth when she heard him again. "I love you so much, doll. I love you so much, I lov—," but his lips were on hers, and her eyes were wide open in that instant, as if an imaginary switch had been pushed on and now—now—

He groaned, changing the angle a little and putting his forehead over hers, opening his eyes and looking at her while her entire body shuddered at the—was it? Was it really?

"What's wrong?" he said.

She opened her mouth. Words didn't make it in time when tears started to roll down her cheeks, and he stopped moving. She rounded him with her arms, hands on his back and legs around his hips, inviting him to keep going the best she could when she still couldn't speak.

"Crap, Jackie—" He tried to get away. His mind told her he was afraid he might have hurt her or that something deeper was going on that he wasn't aware of. She nodded like crazy, trying to make him understand that she was—she was— "Jackie, hey…"

"No!" Her words finally found their way out when he tried to leave her body. He stopped moving and looked at her under him with a frown. "Just…" She smiled, still crying and still feeling hot. "Keep going. Please."

"But—"

"I love you." She moved her hips for him, moaning at the movement and the way he said her name inside her head. "Steven, please…"

She didn't have to say anything else. Maybe he was hearing her inside his own head after all. He kept moving with her until she pushed his shoulders softly, moving him away from her to sit with him on the mattress, she over his lap with her legs around his hips.

This was a position they didn't use much, but it served her well to look into his eyes and guide them to their climax at her own wish. He smiled at her, almost against her lips, when she started to move faster over him. His hands were at her sides, moving up and down her back, slowly and tender then harder when she increased the speed, and he started to move with her.

His mind was heavy. She remembered him cold and uneasy when they were kids, and to feel him now was just—so different. She found his internal voice faster than she ever had as he confessed his love and praised her desire constantly.

It was warm and all him, inside her and around her, like never before.

"Oh, God…" She moaned, getting her fingers in Steven's hair, crashing their lips together in a messy kiss, and her orgasm boiled in the bottom of her belly. "Steven … Steven … !"

The orgasms reached her first, embracing him inside her as pleasure ran through her body, boiling her blood and numbing every corner until her mind went blank.

" _Almost there, doll…"_ his mind said inside her as they kissed, and he kept the rhythm a few strokes more until her name was the only word in his mind and on his tongue. Finally, he was there with her and her kisses, his mind numbed in pleasure and his body too tired to stand.

He let himself rest on the bed, keeping her over his chest, not yet leaving her body. She heard the fast movement of his heart against his chest, his heartbeat lulling her into oblivion and sleepiness, but then his mind spoke again.

" _She's perfect. Man, what did I do to deserve her? Fuck…"_

He asked that a lot about other things when he was a kid but never in the tone his mind was using now, between laughter and shock. She'd heard him like this outside his head, just a few times in all their years together. Usually, it was attached to her, and it made her smile against his skin

The way his chest went up and down with every breath and his heart beat under her, how his thoughts were running all over her head, concentrating on her own weight and soft hair, his fingers caressing lazily with neither of them talking—all of it, it was all she wanted for the rest of her life.

Inevitably she started to laugh, Steven stopped his movements and waited for her to say something. When words didn't come out of her mouth again, he sat down with her in his arms.

"What's up with you?" he murmured, fingers touching her cheek and shoulder. "Hey…"

"I can hear you…"

Her eyes were closed again, and she couldn't open them, not yet. He kept caressing the skin of her shoulder. His mind was quiet again, but this time she swore there was some kind of connection between them, something telling her she could hear him next time his heart rose to the heavens.

"What?" he said.

"I can hear you, Steven." She opened her eyes, slowly moving to face him. She rounded his neck with her arms and hugged him tightly. "I can hear you."

" _Uh…"_ his mind said for him. His arms rounded her as strongly as hers did him, and he hid his face in the space between her neck and shoulder. _"All right."_

"I can hear you…" she kept saying, mostly so she would convince herself of it. Of the fact that, after so many years, she was able to hear him again; and all she needed was this, to be free of her old self, now lying in white pieces at their feet. "I love you, Steven."

He smiled at her, kissing the tip of her nose. "You're gonna hear that a lot," he said. "I love you, doll. I do."

Her heart filled with bliss, she felt it all over her body and down her center, happily asking for him once more. So she kissed him, tongue going playful, asking for a second time and more of him.

Sex with Steven was not just passion and lust. It was meaning and love all over them, in and out, all around. And with their minds this connected, she suspected it was about to become an even bigger thing for both of them.

"Aren't you filthy?" He smirked against her lips, and she bit her bottom lip. "Round two?"

She nodded. "Happy birthday, baby." She smiled at him, getting away from his body and standing a few feet from the bed. "Now sit and relax. Time to respect our birthday tradition."

 **~0~**

Jackie's birthday tradition was insane. She always drove him crazy when she did it, no matter how often, fast or slow, long or short. It always ended the same way: him moaning heavily, one hand in her hair, his eyes closed, and a burning desire to be inside her.

She'd been bad at it when she first did it to him. it was her first time giving a blowjob, and she needed his entire guidance on it, and while it was far from perfect, that small fact of being the first—and only—was enough to put him on edge. It was ridiculous, but even she had liked the idea, so he didn't have time to feel bad about it.

Then, two years into their relationship, she came up with this idea: birthday blowjobs. In exchange, he got to eat her out on her birthday, too. There was … nothing special about it, it was just an excuse to do it. But, man, he was not going to reject it, especially now that she knew what she was doing and exactly how he liked it.

Her mouth almost covered him whole. She bobbed her head up and down a few times before she stopped to suck at the tip, looking up at him from time to time, going down on him again and repeating the technique, stealing his breath away and making him moan in attempt at asking for more.

She could probably hear him doing so in his head. She could probably hear the litany of nonsense his head made of his desire and feelings for her. In another time, the idea would've freaked him out. He'd have feared her having access to his emotions and the way she could use them, but she had cried at realizing her ability had come back.

She'd nervously laughed, kissed him sweetly and happily, said nothing but seemed genuinely contented at the situation.

"Baby, baby…" He tugged on her hair softly. He felt the orgasm coming, and she looked up at him, nodding before going up and down a few times more.

He couldn't help but lover her a little bit more. She'd been able to hear him in times nobody knew about from when he was a kid. And yet she never mentioned anything unless prompted by him. She kept all he never talked about to herself, and if in all these years she never said anything, maybe the rest of him was safe with her, too.

She stood up, her hand squeezing the base of his cock, just strong enough not to let him come. She smiled at him, gesturing at the box of condoms at his side. He wasn't going to last long, but she didn't seem to care. She was more focused on making him feel good—and, man, he'd hit the jackpot with this woman.

Jackie could be the most selfless girl when it came to love. He wasn't sure if it was ironic or not, but he was sure he enjoyed it all the time. She loved and loved and never asked for anything back. Even the times he didn't have an answer, she stayed and waited and kept loving him until he could say differently.

Sex was where she showed this physically. She gave herself to it, didn't lose her mind to pleasure, and left him to do all. It was clear she enjoyed it better while she was sure he was getting off with her. Not for her or because of her. With her.

Like right now and the way she was looking at him, riding him while he searched for her clit, moaning when he found it and tried to reach the end together.

The sun caressed her shoulders and back, making her skin shine in sweat and warmth. She shone golden with her hair sticking to her face and neck, moving with them and sparkling in the afternoon delight.

He kissed her before coming, and when he felt the way her insides pressed at him, he moaned deep into her mouth. She called for him, her mind sending prizes to his, asking him never to leave.

" _God, it is different,"_ she thought. Was she listening to him? Had she heard him call her love and his everything? If she had, she kept it to herself, and he smiled. All those words were for her only anyway. _"That was amazing."_

"Damn, it was," he said, lying on the bed with her at his side. She pulled him out of her. He removed the used condom and tossed it into the garbage can they'd put near them.

She insisted on not being pregnant, that her nervousness had taken away her period, and her moody state was only result of the stress. He wasn't sure about her "not feeling pregnant," but he wasn't risking getting her pregnant for sure in case she was right about stress.

Chicks' bodies were amazing. To respect them and trust the way Jackie knew hers was his best and only option.

"Still with your mind on that, huh?" she said. This new dynamic of answering each other's thoughts wasn't so weird. It wasn't as if she was always able to read him. Now it was quite literal. "I told you I'm not pregnant. You'll see."

He couldn't help but smile, going back to bed at her side. He looked down at her, her hand caressed his cheek with the sun crossing their bodies in a line from their shoulders to their hip.

"All right, and what happens if you are pregnant? Aside from not getting hitched big and slow." She slapped his chest and he chuckled. The normality of this actually serious talk made him smile as she licked her lips.

"Well … from what I've seen at work, I can keep working until I consider it's time for maternity leave. And you know I'm Jon's favorite, so there's no problem."

She smiled mentioning her boss, but Jon was in fact someone to trust. She always helped Jackie and had become a mentor to her. In case his chick was expecting, she would understand and help with what she could. Joan Stinson was awesome.

"I think … I can leave work in the six or seventh month," Jackie continued. "It all depends on my feet. My mom told me her feet got big while pregnant. Since I don't want them to get even bigger, I should stay home and rest."

"Um, all right." He swallowed. "Don't you think our apartment is … small?"

"It is!" she said and sighed next. She wasn't looking at him, but her fingers were caressing one of his sideburns while talking. "We'll have to sacrifice your office, baby. It'll be the nursery." She looked at him with an apologetic smile. "After all this … I don't think we can move to a better place at the moment, so…"

She frowned. "Also, I know doctor's bill and all that is expensive. The delivery can be covered by my work's insurance, but other check-ups aren't. I guess I can talk to Jon, but I doubt she can do anything about it."

"Doesn't matter. Don't think about that." He sighed and smiled at her. Her eyes weren't scared. She was sure about her situation, but he suspected that even if a part of her thought she might be pregnant, she was actually fine with it. "You have thought about it."

"Yeah…" She sighed again. "I have to." And then she smiled. "Believe me, all girls have thought of a contingency plan for situations like this." She moved on the bed, making him lie back on the mattress, and she caressed his chest before going on top of him. "But like I said, I'm not pregnant. I feel better already. I think that Eggo Donna gave me yesterday just messed with my tummy."

He arched an eyebrow. "What about the mood, your period, everything else?"

"Did you just say I'm moody?" She frowned, and he shook his head, but the smirk on his face gave him away. "Ass!" She slapped his chest again, and this time he laughed. "Oh, now I hope I'm pregnant. Just so you'll learn what moody is!"

He kept laughing. One of his hands landed on her back, and she finally laughed with him, going directly for a kiss when he opened his eyes. They kissed for a while before her statement made sense inside his head, and he swallowed once more.

With her head resting on his chest, she seemed calm at the situation, and it made him think about the possibilities once more.

Before her, he never thought of becoming a father. In fact, he never did until Kelso chose them to be Betsy's godparents. They never talked about it. She just assumed they would become parents at some point. And he never told her anything, not a yes or a no. Just—nothing.

The possibility had never been there. Getting hitched was different. It was something she always wanted and was vocal about. When they first got together, he knew the theme would come up at some point, and when it did, he had his answer ready.

As time passed, things changed, and his feelings for her got stronger. She'd given up on most of her old self, now lying on the floor in the most accurate representation of her dusty childhood dreams. It was only natural for him to give her this.

If she could accept not being rich and fancy, live in a small apartment in not the best part of Kenosha, and clean her own house, then he could get married and share taxes with her.

But be parents? That was a different matter. A big deal. And like many times before, she was ahead of him. She was ready, even if the time wasn't ideal. He was the one she was scared for, as if she were afraid being pregnant would only hurt what they have.

"You know…" he started, not even sure of what he was going to say next. She moved to look at him, waiting for his words, and he swallowed. "If you aren't pregnant, I won't mind having a couple of kids with you. Later."

Her eyebrows moved in tenderness, her lips curving in a small smile with her fingers moving to his hair, then the back of his neck. She pulled him for a kiss, and he enjoyed the softness of it before seeing her wide smile.

"Later." She nodded. "I'm not pregnant!" she said again. "You'll see I'm not pregnant!"

He smiled at her and let her cover him with kisses for the rest of the day.

 **~0~**

 _December 31, 1981_

Hyde was in love with Jackie.

Not because he could hear her thoughts or because she was the most stunning girl in the world, but because her light had reached him in a moment he didn't even realized he needed it the most. She came to his world to make a damn mess, and it pissed him off to no end, but he loved the challenge, and he loved the spicy yet sweet flavor of her mind.

He was in love with her because of the way she made him feel, encouraged him to be okay, to try to be better because she deserved only the best and someone in her league. She was everything, and she gave him more than he ever thought he could get, and he only wanted her to be happy.

If she achieved that so-deserved state of mind in which her heart and dreams were satisfied with him, then he'd die a happy man and would search for her in the next life and all the ones to follow.

"You're looking at me that way again…" She smiled.

Her cheeks were red, from the cold and alcohol, but she was high in the moment, and that was all he wanted. He smiled at her and pecked at her lips, slowly moving his hand down her back until he squeezed her ass sightly. She giggled, looking at her side, as if to make sure no one was looking.

But Mrs. Forman was too into being happy about having Forman for the holidays. Fez, meanwhile, ran behind Kelso, who was holding Betsy. Brooke tried to enjoy her wine with a too talkative Donna who was getting into her nerves.

"How else do you want me to look at you, huh?" Hyde said. His voice sounded so soft, even to him. He wondered in which moment he'd become such a softie, as Mrs. Forman liked to say.

But Jackie smiled and went red again, kissing him tenderly. Her hand touched his cheek, and the cold of her ring raised goosebumps all over his body.

"Are you okay?" he said.

She smiled. It brightened his mood even more, and he swallowed, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles where her engagement ring rested. "Yes!" she said.

" _Steven, I'm so, so happy"_. She hugged him, and no words came from her mouth. Her mind was speaking to him, and his heart reacted to that voice.

It sounded different than her usual tone. This was the voice she heard inside her own head, and it wasn't like the one he and everyone else heard from her mouth. It was difficult to put into words, but he loved both tones, and it was good he could identify one from the other.

That, and the fact that she said so many curses inside her mind.

" _This is what I've been waiting for. You. You, you, you…"_ She sighed into his chest, and he looked up to find Red staring at them.

Red smiled and lifted his beer at Hyde. Hyde smiled back, thankful for Red's silence about him and Jackie being all sappy tonight.

He'd just proposed. He figured she'd probably be a ball of cuteness for the rest of the year. Right now, her mind was too happy to care that no one was paying attention to her and her kickass ring anymore. Her arms wanted only to be around him, and he couldn't wait to—

" _We need to get home,"_ her mind said. _"I hope stupid Michael doesn't start with his stupid fireworks."_ Hyde kissed her head, and she sighed. _"God, I want him so bad."_

"Hey," He took her gently by the shoulder. His cock had started to react to her mind, and—wow, not the best place for that. "You know where we haven't been in a while?" She blinked a couple of times and he smirked. "My old room in the basement. Mrs. Forman still has my cot and other stuff down there."

She smiled at him, knowing what he meant, and like many times before, they disappeared hand-in-hand to the basement's small and improvised room.

It hadn't changed in years. The smell was stronger now that there weren't scented candles or incense to kill it, and Jackie seemed uncomfortable at that. But her need was stronger, and so was his. They undressed faster than he could remember, and when he was finally inside her, he had to control himself and not come first thing.

Her mind was yelling at his heart, asking to be filled and loved in the ways she had thought him. it always got him going to listen to her moans and the strong vibrations in her body, manifesting in her words and thoughts. It was a sensation of closeness impossible to describe, but he considered himself lucky to have it.

Even if he had hated the Gift growing up, she'd taught him to appreciate it almost as much as she had appreciated hers. And she taught him so well that another million things had changed.

They kissed, mostly so he could calm down a little and slowly get them to a rhythm that would please them both.

"Oh, Steven…" She moaned, throwing back her head with closed eyes and mouth wide open, moaning his name that soon became only a pleased sound.

She was being especially vocal tonight, and he couldn't help but smile at that. Didn't matter if people upstairs could hear her. Man, the entire world could hear them, and he wouldn't mind. All he wanted was to be with her and follow her thoughts to her orgasm.

" _Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!"_ her mind shouted, and he looked down at her face and the way her eyes were looking for his. She tried to smile at him, but she frowned in pleasure, nails digging into his skin as her moans got caught in her throat, even when her mouth was wide open.

The intensity of it got to him. She was squeezing him inside, and her mind was yelling all that her voice couldn't get out. He groaned, moving in and out a few times more until there was nothing but her name on the tip of his tongue and her lips on his, heartbeat reaching a new level of intense.

If she'd been able to hear his thoughts, she would've learned how often and how easily he screamed love confessions inside his head. That never happened when they were younger, but it started slowly; and one day, it was normal enough for him not to worry about it.

"I love you," he murmured against the skin of her neck. Because she couldn't hear him. And the reality of how easily he could lose her taught him to speak up. That damn Chicago trip almost made them lose their chance. He wasn't going to let that happen again.

She hugged him strongly and giggled, happily enjoying being sweaty and nasty in a room that smelled worse than her first job at the Cheese Palace. When he looked up, she welcomed him with a kiss, and his tongue searched for hers as he left her insides and rested at her side.

They cuddled like they used to before they moved in together, fitting into even the smallest of beds, and she sighed on his chest.

"I love you, puddin'," she said. He had heard it a lot tonight, but it never felt any less shocking—in a good way. "I love you so much…"

She was falling asleep. He caressed her hair to soothe her for a few minutes before midnight. He looked at his watch and nodded. They had a good thirty minutes.

Jackie's sleeping form was one of his favorite images in the world. She looked calm and whole, sleeping with a smile because of him. That always brought him to a place he couldn't recognize at first. Then, almost reluctantly and still surprising to this day, he put a name to it. He was a goddamn happy man. Just to have her here in his arms was enough.

It told his old beliefs and thoughts about his future to fuck themselves, and his heart felt big in this moment as she slept.

Because he'd done this for himself. Because he loved her and—he really had reached that point—wanted to marry her. No conditions or exchanges, but his own wishes. He had proposed tonight out of want and happiness, his addiction to what they were together.

He kissed her head, hugging her to his chest and closing his eyes.

They were finally there.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** As they prepare to go home, Jackie asks an important question.


	7. Heal

**A/N:** Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for the kind words, follows and favorites. It means a lot to me to have your support. We are almost done with this story! We close all doubts in this chapter and the next, pure fluff in the epilogue. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

 _1979_

Steven's body was impossibly tense. Jackie managed to get him into her bed and relax his features a little with kisses and caresses that would've made him fall asleep any other time.

But tonight his anger was up in the heavens, maybe even space. She'd never seen him this angry, and sometimes his temper became volatile when his most sensitive buttons were pushed. The drive home had illustrated just how pissed he was with the way he couldn't stop talking about Mr. Barnett and tonight's show.

When they met his biological father together the first time, she never thought the man would think so low of her Steven. He was nothing like the person Mr. Barnett believed he was, and she hoped guilt would consume that old prick's head for the rest of the week because, really, how dare he say such things of Steven?

This situation wasn't about her, though, or her indignation.

She needed Steven to get some sleep, but he kept talking about how all rich people were the same, no matter their age, color, or musical taste. He fumed about how meeting Mr. Barnett had been a bad idea and that he hated the fact he'd dressed up for the evening and acted like an idiot with a man not worth his time.

Behind all that, though, was a terrible pain she feared she'd never help him get rid of. It had existed since he was a kid, and she probably knew more about it than he was comfortable with.

Finally, his ranting stopped, and she hugged him to her chest. Part of her wanted to ask about his childhood. Encourage him to open up and tell her if he was the boy she used to hear. That kid had been in serious trouble—and if she were right, that Steven was once that boy, then she wanted nothing more in the world than to help him.

She'd never had the chance when she used to listen to his thoughts. To help him now would be her biggest accomplishment. Steven hadn't deserved any of that pain.

And, tonight, his pain had resurfaced with the revelation that had his luck gone differently, all that suffering as a kid might never have been. That maybe if he'd grown up with Mr. Barnett as his dad, the man would not think him such a rat, and Steven wouldn't have had to endure his drunken stepfather and witch mother.

But she remained silent as she held him in her bed, asking him nothing.

"You know," he said, "there's these … _things_ my mother did. Many I'd give anything to clear out of my head forever."

"Most of us do," she said. He hated being treated as if what he'd endured made him different than anyone else. She kissed his forehead and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Steven."

"For what?" he murmured.

"I … made you talk to him. If I'd known he was going to be like this, I wouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry."

"None of it is your fault, doll."

He moved from her embrace, slowly searching for her eyes, and he tried a smile. His face was as tense as the rest of him. She caressed his cheek softly and tried to soothe him to sleep, kissing his lips and chin, down his neck and back to his face, until she tasted salt.

She could've called his name or looked at him, but she didn't. She'd never seen Steven cry, and she never thought she would. The possibility of him crying didn't sicken her, but it was also not something she actually wanted to see.

He wouldn't cry out of happiness or pure emotion; that much she knew. His tears would come only from his world falling down or an anger too full for him to find relief in a wall or screams. So she just kept kissing him, arms surrounding him and hugging him closer.

"I'm here," she said, unsure if any of her words could calm him down. She also didn't completely understand his tears, the _why_ of them. But if she kept quiet, he'd close up again. Maybe by just letting him cry, he'd release some of that weight he'd been dragging since he was a kid. "Steven, I'm here."

He hid his face in her shoulder. Her neck became wet as tears rolled down his face, and he made no sound. She remembered her soulmate telling himself to keep quiet if he were going to cry. He used to reprimand himself for crying at all until, slowly, his crying stopped.

She was witnessing it now, his quiet release. The only sound came from the tree outside her window, rustling with the breeze. His nose didn't allow anything to fall from it, either. But she hugged him and let him rely on her own silence and her body as much as he needed.

Steven always supported her and hated seeing her cry. He always managed to make her feel better, too, whether with words or actions. Or just his silence and his arms. And she wanted to do that for him, be that kind of support.

"I once wished Edna would die," he said an hour later, his face tearless. He shook his head, and Jackie kissed his cheek. "I was sleeping at Formans'. She had…" He chuckled, and his voice turned sarcastic. "She had almost done it but … to me." He shook his head again, and she frowned. "I don't know what I'm talking about. I need to sleep."

Jackie swallowed. He must've been really tired if he was babbling about his mother this way. Her fingers played with his hair. He'd fall asleep if she caressed him silently while his head rested near her heartbeat.

His words echoed inside her head, though, nearly the same way her soulmate's used to. But that had been the voice of a little boy, asking what was happening, _why_ it was happening. Why had his mother wanted to—

"Oh, no…" she murmured, arms surrounding him protectively and hugging him to her chest. He didn't move or say anything. He was likely, finally, falling asleep. But her heart hammered inside her chest, and he started to hum.

"Are you okay?" he said after a moment.

She didn't have an answer. Her feelings had turned into a mottled, indiscernible knot, but she wouldn't worry him about her suspicions. She nodded and said, "How old were you?"

"Huh?"

"How old were you the night you were talking about?"

He snuggled closer to her, head on her chest, eyes closed. He was obviously drifting to sleep in her arms, but he said, "Twelve? Eleven? I don't know…"

Her fingers closed hard over his clothes and the bed sheets.

If he was twelve that night, then she would've been eleven. She'd stopped listening to her soulmate at that age, therapy be damned. Her father had wanted to keep her from having another Trance, and the blocking method was so effective that she just stopped listening. That was what she'd chosen to believe anyway.

After she deafened herself to her soulmate, she thought of him more often and grew obsessed with the idea that she needed to find him. She couldn't be doomed not to have one. Her case was as strange as the concept of being connected to a stranger since birth, and she didn't accept that having the Gift was a bad omen.

She swallowed as Steven lay in her arms. She'd stopped truly caring about the Gift when she fell in love with him. Until now.

Because his mother had done something horrible to him when he was twelve, and she had heard it. She'd felt the fear and confusion in her room, in this bed where they were holding each other tonight.

Her eyes burned. Tears fought to roll down her cheeks, but she didn't let them, afraid she'd wake Steven and have to tell him her discovery.

Not that she hadn't considered before that Steven might be her soulmate. She'd tried to confirm it a few times, but he wasn't a Listener like she'd been. Nor did he remember the thought he'd heard from his soulmate, the single thought people without the Gift were privy to. He didn't talk about his past, and she didn't dare to ask.

But her suspicions had been right, and she bit her tongue to stop a sob coming out. Steven Hyde was her soulmate, after all.

 **Until We Get There**

 **Chapter XVII - Heal**

 _November 29, 1983_

Jackie woke up in the hotel thinking about that night, years ago, when she confirmed Steven was her soulmate.

His anger and sadness had been the most painful thing she'd ever felt, and she didn't want to see him like that ever again.

That night, she'd decided to do anything and everything in her power to make him happy. She soon realized that only he could get himself there, but at least she could help.

Now, at her side, Steven's sleeping figure reminded her why she loved him. He was warmth and calm, even when chaos reigned inside his soul—but that was what her kisses were for. So he could sleep better.

Smiling, she caressed his cheek and admired his mess of curls until his hand landed on the small of her back, and her smile grew wider.

He hadn't opened his eyes, which meant he was still mostly asleep, and she cuddled into his chest. He moved a little, sliding his chin over the top of her head. His heartbeat filled her senses, along with the slow rhythm of his breathing and the warmth of his arms.

Steven was everything she'd always hoped for and so much more. He had also been one she didn't see coming. Not even in her wildest dreams did she imagine falling in love with someone like him, but she'd met him and knew about his scars, and she'd loved him then as she loved him now.

She sighed and smiled again, tried to fall back asleep in their embrace, but her mind kept following that thought from years ago.

Her eyes opened, and her gaze roamed a small scar Steven had down his right side. It was a cut, similar to the one on his left shoulder and the smaller one in his left wrist.

She couldn't help but caress it and search for any others she could reach, mind still floating around her revelation and what she hadn't told him. A part of her didn't even want to tell him about it, not wishing to bring back bedtime horror stories.

"My mom did that," he murmured, and her fingers stopped caressing the scar on his side. "But you already know that."

She swallowed and drew him closer before nodding. Holding that information back was unnecessary. Even if he hadn't been a Listener, he deserved to know all these things if he wanted to.

"Steven?" she said. They'd been silent for a while, maybe a few minutes. He made a sound to indicate he was listening. "Are you scared that I can hear your thoughts?"

She never imagined that it could be scary. But now that she'd experienced it herself—like him answering questions that existed only in her mind—the fact that someone else could hear her thoughts, feel her emotions, was bizarre.

Luckily for her, Steven was the one who listened. She wasn't bothered or worried by him hearing what was in her head, but that didn't stop the whole thing from being just a little bit strange.

But he'd called the Gift an embarrassment. He probably didn't like her having access to his stronger emotions. He'd like it even less if he ever found out what she'd heard when they were kids.

He moved from their embrace to look at her face. He was still sleepy, but the blue of his eyes put the sunny day outside to shame. She pecked his lips as a greeting, and he sighed with a small smile.

"Scared? Not really…" he said, obviously uncomfortable. He sat up a little, elbow on his pillow, and he supported the weight of his head with his hand, palming his cheek. "I never thought about that, you know? I'm not thinking about it now, either."

He looked at her face a few seconds. Then his gaze shifted to her exposed chest, and goosebumps rose on her skin as his eyes followed her nakedness until the sheets were in his way.

"Have you ever … imagined what I've heard from your head before?" she said.

He stayed silent, seemingly ignoring her question, but she knew better. He had taught her to read him, and he allowed her to do it, too.

His Zen was a defense from the rest of the world, and she'd been invited to step through it and understand it. It was a trust she wouldn't abuse. To interfere with his secrets was to betray him.

"I don't think about it, Jackie."

His voice was a murmur. But whatever kept him from talking about the subject couldn't be that important. He usually spoke when a situation called for it, when he truly wanted or needed her to know something. And that fact calmed her.

"There are a lot of things I want to ask you," she said, not expecting him to answer.

"Me, too…"

She stared at him, wondering what his response meant. White noise crackled in her head, and it made her blink like it always had, ever since she'd stopped listening to him. This time, however, she could get an answer—if his emotions grew more intense.

"What is the first thought you heard from my mind?" she said, caressing his chin.

He smiled at her touch and closed his eyes. "Mmm…" He tilted his head to one side. "I'm not sure, but I think you were repeating your middle name. Don't know why."

"Oh…" She frowned. "Just that?"

He nodded, and she tried to remember why she might've repeated her ugly and embarrassing middle name.

"Oh!" she said. _Grandma Beulah,_ of course. "When I was a kid, my grandmother made me do these … repetitions of my entire name. Maybe you only heard the _Beulah_ part. It haunted me to have that name."

Steven snorted, and she made a face when he opened his eyes. The sun outside was brighter than she thought it would be, but it didn't compare to how she felt lying here with him.

He laughed until his back was flat on the bed, and she laid her head on his chest. Half her body was draped over his, and he stroked her shoulder.

"What'd you hear from me?" he said. "I mean, for the first time. What did you hear?"

"I—" She didn't have the courage to tell him. Most of what she'd heard were things he never talked about, things he might say were untrue. "You've never mentioned it, so I don't—I don't think it's a good idea if I bring it up."

He frowned and licked his lips before talking. "Whatever it is, it's in the past. It doesn't matter, doll."

Her fingertips played with the hair on his chest. "You … were happy," she said without looking at him, and he hummed. "Because, well, you thought you were going to have a little brother."

Nothing in his face or body changed, but he moved uncomfortably under her. One hand covered his eyes, and he nodded. "Not even Forman knows that. She lost it, Bud's fault. I didn't realize what had happened when I was a kid. I figured it out when I was older."

He wasn't smiling. She'd known telling him these things might put him in a gloomy mood. All that weight haunting him, casting shadows on the walls. For him to learn she was aware of some of it … understandably, it would make him uneasy.

When his father had abandoned him, his mind became a foggy place full of uncertanity. He'd cried a lot in his mind, and it affected Jackie in ways no one in her family had expected.

She'd cried for him every night before going to sleep, and her exhaustion hurt her grades and friendships.

Finally, when she was eleven and he was twelve, his mother snapped one night. A Wednesday. His thoughts had scared Jackie awake, and she screamed as if the attack had been on her. Both her parents and the housekeeper woke at the noise.

"My dad doesn't know you're the boy I used to hear," she said now. "I don't know how to tell him that. I…"

"Are you embarrassed?" he said, stroking her her hair.

"What?" She almost moved to hit him but kept her hands to herself. She needed to stop reacting this way. He'd had enough of that already. "No! Steven, how can you say that?"

"Well, I have no idea why you wouldn't tell him something like that. There's nothing he can do anyway." He sighed, sounding apologetic. "Listen, I know that his approval and all that crap is important to you, so you don't have to explain it to me—"

"That's what you think?" The harshness of her voice startled her. Her throat was closing, and she felt like crying. _Fuck,_ she was sensitive lately. "Do you really think I care about that now? God, Steven…"

He went silent again, and her hands became fists, but she pressed them to her sides. If she told him the truth, he'd shut down. He might even get offended. Right now, neither of them were in a hostile place where they wanted to hurt the other, and she planned on staying that way.

"Then what is it?" he said.

That night, so many years ago, her father had tried to hold her as she called out for help. She'd sputtered, _"_ _Why, why, why, why?_ " between cries. Yelled in pain every time her mom tried to touch her, so her dad took her out of the house. He drove her in his car until she calmed down and woke up from the Trance she'd been trapped in.

Steven continued to stroke her hair, but he was waiting for an answer, "It was his idea," she said "The block therapy was his idea." She'd started down this road. She had to stick with it, but his hand dropped to her shoulder. "I had a small Trance when I was too little, it scared him."

"Right…" He sighed. "What did I do?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"It's my mind, so it's something I did." He looked at her, expression as serene as ever. It amazed her how calm he seemed, how good he was at blocking his thoughts, too. But his fingers clutching at the sheets over her body, holding onto them so hard his knuckles grew white, told another story.

"I never thought about it…" she said. It was the truth. "Just—after I started to suspect it was you, I tried to remember that night."

"You don't remember it?"

"Part of…" She sighed. "Your mother." She swallowed at the tensing of his body. "She hurt you that night … physically. It scared you, and it scared me. My father didn't want it to happen again, so the next day he took me to Dr. Galler. I didn't hear you anymore when the session were over."

She didn't want any of that pain coming back to him. He was never comfortable talking about his mother, and Jackie always tried to respect that, no matter how curious she was to discover what lay behind all his secrecy.

But that night, Edna Hyde had wanted to kill her son.

Steven's mind hadn't understood what was happening then. He'd been a kid, too; and while he was sadly wise beyond his years, the voice inside Jackie's head—his voice—kept asking, _"Why?"_ as goosebumps of fear and terror covered her eleven-year-old body.

Jackie swallowed in the present. She didn't want to expose Steven to that memory, and she hoped he wouldn't ask more about it.

"You were eleven…" he said, drumming his fingers softly on her shoulder. "I was twelve, and it scared the shit out of you. What was I thinking then?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she resumed playing with the hair on his chest, and she kissed the bare skin above it.

"Jackie, what was I thinking?"

"You kept asking why," she said. Because he wasn't going to leave this alone. "At the beginning, you didn't know what was wrong with her. You thought about who to call for help. Then you _cried out_ for help. And at the end, you just—you asked _why_ and said, 'It hurts,' a few times.

"I—I don't know what happened," she went on. "That's all I know."

But back then, Steven eventually realized what was happening, and his brain kept yelling the truth to himself and to her, as if trying to convince himself of it. His mother had wanted to kill him. She had cut him with a kitchen knife, from what his mind told her at the time.

Most memories of that night were a blur to her.

The Trance was a consequence of the soulmate connection. It happened mostly to deeply connected couples or to kids who'd first heard their soulmate's thoughts early on. Dr. Galler, Jackie's therapist, said it happened to Jackie because she cared a lot for the boy she didn't know at the time.

Looking at him now, she wished she hadn't said a word.

"You know what happened?" he murmured.

If she lied, would he open up and tell her the truth? Or maybe he'd finally drop the subject. But, more than likely, he'd realize she was lying. Because he always seem to know. _Always._

"I do," she said.

He grasped one of her hands, and she didn't move from his chest as he brought her hand to his lips. He softly kissed it then intertwined their fingers over his heartbeat.

"Thank you for not asking me," he said.

She smiled, and the tension disappeared between them. The morning was bright, as she imagined their joined paths would be now. Sighing, she closed her eyes and continued to rest her head on Steven's chest. The fingers of his free hand played with her hair and traced patterns on her shoulder.

But after a while he sat up and stretched his body. The sun shone on it, on him, and then he shone his blue eyes on her. He said nothing but indicated the bathroom.

She sat up, too, as he left her. "Are you mad at me, Steven?" she said once he was in the bathroom, did his business, and flushed the toilet

He opened the door and chuckled. "For what? Being cool with my bullshit childhood and not saying a word to anyone? Not a chance." He washed his hands in the bathroom sink before returning to the bedroom. "Just … confused as hell, I guess."

"I'll tell you what, I don't know what to think either." She sighed, and he grinned. "But ... I love you. That's not going to change, no matter what."

"Okay…" he murmured after a few seconds, his grin growing bigger. "I love you, too."

It made her smile to hear him finally say it without hesitation.

"So…" he began, grabbing his underwear from the floor, "what do we do now?"

"Um…" She opened her arms to him. He left the clothes on the floor, entered her embrace, and they both fell onto the mattress. "Do you want to stay a few more days?"

"Sure."

 **~0~**

 _December 3, 1983_

"You know what bullshit I had to endure for years?" Hyde said in their booth at Albie's Diner. Jackie looked up from her meal and waited for his answer, and a grin spread over his face. "You dating Kelso."

She coughed, clearly realizing what he was getting at.

They'd gone to to the diner to say goodbye to their first stop. Albie and Gus had served them quickly, even when the diner was crowded. They'd also asked about Jackie's health. Her period hadn't come on time, and Hyde was pretty sure they were becoming parents.

"Oh, no…" she murmured, and he smiled a little.

The few times he'd heard her while she dated Kelso, he'd been annoyed to no end. But part of him knew her first long relationship was not going to be the last. He always thought his soulmate was better than what she'd accepted.

He hadn't been wrong.

"Steven, that's awful!" she said, frowning, but his grin grew wider. "Ew, now I feel bad! You had to hear me in love with someone else. That must've been horrible!"

"Well…" He scratched the back of his neck. "If it helps, I was just annoyed. I didn't know it was you at first, so…" She made a face, and he cleared his throat. "Okay, listen. While you rambled on about him, once I knew it was you, I thought he was a moron and that you deserved better."

Her frown shifted into a grin wide enough to match his, as if he'd told her they'd inherited a trillion dollars, and he'd buy her an actual unicorn. But him being a Listener and sharing that with her was her unicorn.

She nodded and— _fuck,_ he was actually happy to be her unicorn.

Giggling like a little shit, she covered her mouth and looked down. Food must've still been in her mouth.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he said, still smiling. "You like hearing my poetic crap because it's about you."

"It's embarrassing!" She dabbed her lips with a napkin. "But you are, Steven. You are my unicorn."

They stared at each other until he snorted. She laughed with him, ignoring her food. They'd been laughing a lot since they'd cleared the secrets between them. It was something he hadn't noticed until just this moment. Before now, he hadn't been analyzing anything. He'd simply enjoyed being with her and the chance to talk out the Listener stuff he'd been hiding.

"I have to talk to W. B.," he said after their laughter faded. She nodded and took a sip of her drink. "I don't know what the hell I'm going to tell him. He must hate me."

"Oh, I don't think so," she said. "Remember what he told us when we first met?" He blinked a couple of times. "That he's a Listener, Steven!"

"And…?"

"Your sister said all Barnetts are Listeners, and she tried to put you down because you weren't one when you two met, so…" She waited for him to react, but his mind seemed to be stuck in food—and the fact that he was going to be a father. Jackie's expression shifted to exasperation. "We are so not going to be parents yet!"

"But…"

"And that's not the point! After you explain my part of the story to your dad, you should tell him you're a Listener, too... He'll be excited that his son is a Listener like all Barnetts. And it'll also make Angie remember that she owes you an apology."

He swallowed and thought over what she said. All the Barnetts he'd met, the ones related by blood, were Listeners, and he always knew he was one, too. When W. B. mentioned his Gift, Hyde almost spilled the beans and revealed his own. He'd initially been excited to find out who his real father was, but W.B.'s initial reaction to him had changed that.

Nowadays, the Barnetts were his family. Hyde wasn't sure how, but he'd gotten to know them and win a place in the family. W. B. was probably pissed at him for running from his wedding, especially after how much money was spent on it. But Hyde also trusted or, more accurately, _hoped_ that W.B. would understand his and Jackie's reasons.

"Yeah, I might tell him…" His heart was beating fast. Jackie had started to eat again, and he wasn't sure if she was listening to him. But her silence usually meant she was respecting his privacy. She looked up and smiled, and he smiled back, understanding. "I guess I am a Barnett."

She placed a hand over her chest and looked at him as if his words had moved everything inside her. His cheeks flushed with warmth, and he lowered his gaze to the table. "Steven," she said, "of course you are."

"Shut it."

"Aw, baby." She dropped her fork and took his hands with both hers. Her thumbs caressed his knuckles, and she said nothing else.

Slowly, he looked up and found her eyes focused on their hands. She'd grown serious, and she lowered her head to his hands and kissed them.

"I want to get married, Steven," she said, looking at him. "I want to marry you…"

He swallowed, nodding.

Pam had taken Jackie's dreams away from her ever since she was a little girl. To get married and have a happy family was her major goal. For a second almost too long, Pam was able to steal it from Jackie's hands once more. But Jackie had stopped the wedding, had stopped her mother, and asked Hyde to stay at her side.

She'd endured his worst years as a teenager, even his cruelty when he thought the world had made him too hard and harsh. She still saw something in him no one else would, and to feel the way she loved him only made him better.

"And, I want to have your babies," she said, and he stared at her stomach. "But that's not happening soon. Don't look at me like that."

"Jackie—"

"Steven." Her tone drew his gaze to her face, but she was smiling. "I'm not pregnant. You saw it yesterday. My breasts are killing me. And so are my legs. My period is coming."

He sighed, like he did every time she assured him they were not becoming parents soon. He licked his bottom lip, knowing she was waiting for an answer to her statement. No way was he lying to her again.

"I want to get hitched, too," he said, and her smile became brighter. "And you're the only chick I'd ever have kids with."

"Oh, you bet your pretty blue eyes we'll have the most beautiful children, Steven."

It sounded amazing, her voice and the thought of their future kids. His smile didn't fade, and neither did hers, and she kissed his hands again.

Albie nodded at her as Jackie passed him to get to the bathroom.

This place was magical. From the diner to the plant nursery. And only God knew what else was around. The people here had been amazing to her and Steven, and the air did wonders for her body, mind, and heart.

She was grateful, even though she was a little scared to go back home.

She opened the door to one of the toilet stalls. The fact that it was clean was another marvelous thing about Albie's Diner, and she almost smiled as she sat down.

Back home, her mother was going to yell at her. The Formans might lecture her and Steven, and Mr. Barnett would lecture them some more. She didn't even want to think about Eric's massive jokes, Michael's bullshit about marriage, let alone Fez's , "A-burn!' attempts, and Donna's judging eyes.

Loving those assholes came naturally to her. They'd understand, or try to, once they heard the whole story. But fuck, by the pain in her belly, she wasn't in the mood to listen to their initial crap.

She wasn't in the mood for anyone but Steven.

"Oh!" she said when her fingers felt something wet over her panties. Swallowing, she opened her eyes and— _oh, no._

This was the worst. She should've been ready for this, but nope. She left her purse with her emergency pads and underwear at the table.

Glancing at her side, she swallowed again. Someone had entered the bathroom and— _fuck,_ she wasn't pregnant. Not clean, but also not pregnant.

The person knocked on her door, and Jackie blinked a couple of times. "It's occupied!"

"Are you Jackie, miss?"

"Huh?"

Her purse appeared in the space underneath the stall door, and her cheeks flushed.

 _Steven._

"Your boy sent you this," said the woman outside the stall.

"Oh, thank you!" Jackie said. She grabbed the purse, thanking Steven in her mind and sending him kisses.

He must've heard her excitement—and he was going to hear another emotion once she was out of the bathroom. She'd been right all this time. No way was she going to let him out of this one alive.

Giggling, she cleaned herself, changed her panties, and put the stained one in the pad's small bag. Once she was out of the stall, another toilet flushed. A woman exited a neighboring stall, smiling at her.

Jackie thanked her once more. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face before finally putting on makeup. This morning, she and Steven had left Sun's Realm early, and she hadn't wanted to do her usual routine. But now it was time to go home.

The pressure in her heart grew bigger when she found Steven waiting for her outside the bathrooms. His thumbs were hooked over the pockets of his jeans. But he smiled at her, and the pressure revealed itself as joy.

Hugging him, she took in a deep breath of his scent. She sighed happily as his lips grazed her forehead. He took her hand afterward, and they waved to Albie and Gus before leaving the diner together.

Outside, she gave Steven some distance as he checked on the El Camino. He opened his arms to her when he was done, but she didn't run into them. She walked.

"I told you!" she said.

He shook his head but welcomed her with a kiss, and his arms slid around her waist.

"Now, as I was saying…" She went back to their conversation in the diner. "We can have a very small and private wedding. I would like that. As long as I can chose my dress, and you dance at least _two_ love songs with me, I'll love it."

He nodded, smiling brightly. "Whatever you want."

"Oh, really?" she said with false suspicion, but he was looking at her _that_ way, and she flung her arms around his neck. "Uh … Steven?" She licked her lips, and he arched an eyebrow, as if waiting for her to talk again. "Are you—are you happy?"

He kissed her in response, deeply but soft, slowly heating up until everything she could think about was him and how much she wanted him. Due to her period, though, they couldn't follow through on that desire like they usually did, not for three or four days. But for now, to kiss him and touch him was enough.

 _"Am I freakin' happy?"_ his mind said into hers. "It's a crazy question, man. Yeah, I'm happy." His emotion entered her mind along with his thoughts, and her desire rose to her heart. _"As long as we're good, yes. Always."_

She smiled in their kiss and nipped his lip a little to make him laugh.

They had gotten here together. She was right at the end. She was right … _there._ With him.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** Epilogue.


	8. Epilogue

**A/N:** And with this chapter, this fanfic has come to an end. Thank you SO much for all the support you all gave me with your comments and favorites. It means a lot. Especially when this week, the 18th, my first fanfic on this fandom is celebrating it's first birthday.

'For Things I Don't Have Words' marks a year since I joined this fandom and I'm very happy, and very proud to be around. So thank you once more for all the love, it's good to be here. And I'm glad you have enjoyed my writing.

* * *

 _July, 1978_

When Jackie entered the Formans' kitchen, a bouquet of sunflowers grabbed her attention. A vase of them was the breakfast table's new centerpiece, but Mr. Forman cleared his throat beside them. She looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry. Hi, Mr. Forman. Mrs. Forman."

Mrs. Forman smiled back and offered a plate of breakfast, and when Jackie thanked her without taking it, Mrs. Forman said, "Eric and Steven are still asleep, and Fez hasn't come by yet."

Jackie didn't care much for the skinny geek or the pervert foreigner, but her face heated up at the mention of Steven.

She excused herself and climbed down the basement stairs, and her heart beat faster than it had in a long time.

"Oh!"

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, both hands over her mouth.

Sitting on the spool table was another bouquet of sunflowers with a pink ribbon keeping it together. It was smaller than the one in the kitchen, but she knew what the flowers meant and who had put them there.

"'Morning, Grasshopper."

"Steven!" she said, her hands now over her chest. If she hadn't fully blushed upstairs, she surely was now. Steven was here, and she moved toward him.

He'd obviously been awake for a while. He was already dressed and smelled of fresh sheets and deodorant. His sunglasses were hooked on his shirt collar, and he passed her on the way to his usual spot, his white chair.

Not wanting to look stupid, Jackie went to the couch and sat as close to him she could—and to the flowers, too.

"Those are yours," he said. A magazine was in his hands, and he turned one of the pages. "And don't make a fuss. I'm just keeping my word."

She couldn't help but smile. He'd started to grow a beard. He was the only one of their friends whose facial hair wasn't disgusting, and it made him seem older and more manly. Like a grown-up, especially with his scowl, sideburns, sunglasses, and big car.

He had to be ten-times more attractive to all sorts of women, but he'd chosen to spend the summer with her, making stupid bets while playing chess, a game he'd taught her in he first place.

"Nothing to say?" he murmured after a while.

Jackie took the flowers. She hadn't expected him to keep his word, and she felt a little bit ashamed of that. He wasn't a liar. He was never out to hurt her purposely. And he cared about her.

"Oh, Steven, they're beautiful!" She sniffed them and bit her bottom lip before looking at him. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, well…" He sighed. It sounded like relief, and her heart jumped inside her chest. "You did beat me pretty good, man. It was badass."

Her smile widened. "Thank you," she said again and held the flowers to her chest. She leaned her back against the couch with her eyes closed, and she and Steven fell into silence. It wasn't awkward or unbearable. It was just silence.

After a few seconds, she sighed again and opened her eyes.

It had been a while since she got something she loved as a gift. Bet or not, Steven had gone out and bought flowers for her. He didn't ask which ones she would like. He hadn't even told her he would buy them. But he had, and he had also bought a bouquet for the woman he probably saw as a mother.

Because he was actually a good man.

He chuckled, and when Jackie looked at him, he covered his mouth and lowered his head. She tilted her head to the side. What was so funny? But before she could ask, he gazed up at her and smiled.

"You better not go around saying I gave you those," he said.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "As if someone would actually believe me."

And maybe she was right, but things were changing.

White noise still crackled inside her head, but for the first time in years, she didn't care that she'd lost her Gift—because she didn't need it. Not anymore.

"Are you happy, Steven?" she said after some more comfortable silence.

"Huh?" He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" She adjusted her position on the couch, raising her legs to the cushions and kneeling. The sunflowers remained in her hands, hugged to her chest. "Like … do you think you're happy—right now?"

He blinked a couple of times, his fingers touching his sunglasses, and she hoped he wouldn't put them on. His eyes were clear as daylight, and she enjoyed being one of the few people who saw him without his sunglasses while in private.

"I don't know," he said. "I mean—yeah, I don't know." He sighed. "So, what about you?"

She almost jumped from the couch. Usually, she would've had an answer for that. Of course she was happy. She had everything: rich parents, rich life, great clothes and hair, a gorgeous boyfriend, and a spot on the cheer squad.

But none of it was _her_.

The money belonged to her parents, to her father who was rarely home and ignored her whenever he was home. And to her mother, who'd left work and dedicated her life to make Jackie's impossible and to drinking as much as she could.

Her popularity was thanks to that upbringing, to the gossip she could bring and the spirits she could kill with her words. But she no longer enjoyed the company of those bitches in the squad as much, and at least she could admit it in the privacy of her mind.

And then Michael, who never truly loved her … and whom she never truly loved either. They had wronged each other for too long, but she was trying to free herself of him and the wounds of his actions.

Her sunflowers smelled fresh. The beautiful yellow of their petals resembled the sun in the sky. But why had Steven chosen this particular kind of flower? What did he see in it that reminded him of her and Mrs. Forman?

He was looking at her now, as if he understood exactly what she was thinking, and she smiled.

"Well," she said, "I think I'm getting there. I wanna get there, you know?"

 **Until We Get There**

 **Epilogue**

 _May, 1985_

Grooves wasn't crowded on Mondays.

Kids often left school too tired or with too much homework, though some passed by the store and greeted Hyde before dashing home. And adult customers stayed away to run their own businesses. It was one of the highlights of his workweek, not having to deal with people all day.

That, and having his wife behind the counter, humming strange tunes to her growing belly.

He was rearranging cassettes at the front of the shop, making sure bestsellers shared equal shelf space with underappreciated bands, but he looked over at Jackie and smiled.. She was chewing gum and flipping through the pages of a magazine. He'd had to buy her both last night, at almost midnight, but she seemed to be enjoying her maternity leave more than he expected.

She sang to their unborn child every day, talked to it, and made plans with her belly while walking around their house, trying to entertain herself.

Her boredom was obvious, and when he suggested she join him at the store, her excitement about being the cute girl behind the counter told him the idea maybe wasn't so bad.

She appeared to like the attention she got from customers and the distraction, but it didn't stop her from talking, singing, and humming to their child.

"Do you really think the kid can hear you?" he said from across the store.

"Of course she can!"

He smiled again, shaking his head. "And still insisting it's a girl…"

"Oh, you'll see!" She pointed at him. "When are you going to understand that I'm always right?" She was clearly teasing. But even if he hadn't been able to tell by the tone of her voice, he knew all her smiles, and the one on her face give away the joke.

"Sure, man."

"Oh!" She put her hands on her waist as he walked toward her. "Well, I was right the first time, remember? I said I wasn't pregnant, and I wasn't!"

Two girls darted into the store, giggling, but they went to a corner shelf. They didn't seem to need or want his help at the moment, and he stayed with Jackie at the counter.

"That was luck," he said, knowing full-well it wasn't. Women understood their bodies. They could identify anything and everything that had to do with them faster than men could their own, and Jackie was no exception.

"Luck? Then how do you explain how I knew I was pregnant this time before my period was due?" She rubbed her belly. "It never came because I was right!"

He laid both hands on the glass countertop and leaned towards her. She pecked his lips, and he smiled wide when she opened her eyes again. Giggling, she closed her magazine and glanced at the surveillance monitor.

"It's a girl," she repeated, probably watching the two girls in the shop. Their loud laughter punctuated their murmuring conversation. "You'll see."

"All right. Whatever you say."

In fact, whatever gender their kid turned out to be, it would be wonderful. Neither he nor Jackie wanted to be told the sex before birth. Jackie believed she could take the surprise, but whenever curiosity got the better of her, she focused on shopping for maternity clothes.

At first Hyde feared for his wallet. But one day a very surprised Donna showed up at his and Jackie's house in Kenosha, helping Jackie with her shopping bags. Jackie had done wonders with her money, Donna reported, and bought crap like a pro, and he wanted to slap himself.

Jackie was the queen of shopping, fiscally judicious ever since her father was thrown in jail. And while she still loved ridiculous things like too many shoes and coats of all colors, she knew how to save, and—man, he had won the lottery with this woman.

"Excuse me." Someone tugged on the hem of his shirt, and Hyde looked over his shoulder. The two girls were standing behind him with a couple of cassettes, and he stepped aside, understanding. "Thank you, sir."

Jackie smiled at him. She always enjoyed when they were called sir and Mrs., as if it meant something really great. But Hyde said nothing, only smiled back as the girls gave her their cassettes, and she ringed them up.

The taller of the two girls gasped, looking at Jackie. "You're Jackie Burkhart!" she said.

Jackie nodded, but Hyde crossed his arms over his chest, watching.

"Oh!" The girl clapped then patted at her friend's shoulder. "She's Jackie Burkhart!"

"I can see that," the other girl said. "You don't have to shake me, Amy!" She stared at Jackie's belly. "You're so big!"

Jackie's cheeks flushed, and Hyde's eyes widened. He had to get between her and the girls before Jackie said or did something stupid.

"Shut up, Paige!" Amy said then looked at Jackie with pink cheeks. "You look so beautiful, Mrs. Burkhart!" She clasped her hands together as Hyde went behind the counter. He slid his arm around Jackie's back as she put the girls' cassettes in a plastic bag. "So," Amy said, "you must be Steven!"

"You have a fan…" he murmured by Jackie's ear. She looked at him with an amused smile then back at the girls.

"Here you have, sweetheart," she said. "Thank you for your purchase and for the good spirit!"

Amy's face went red, and Paige rolled her eyes. But Paige took the bag from Jackie afterward with a smile. "You do look beautiful, Mrs. Hyde."

Hyde laughed a little into Jackie's shoulder.

"We love your show!" Paige said. "I've missed seeing it every Friday. Jenna Goodman isn't so good…"

Jackie frowned and nodded, probably happy at the comment. "I know, but there's no one better to replace me while I'm gone. I swear!"

"Yeah _, Best Time Ever_ is not the same without you, Mrs. Hyde," Amy said. "Um … would it be too weird if we ask for an autograph, maybe?"

"Of course not!" Jackie said. "I would love to!"

Hyde left them to their conversation, giving them space. But he watched the surveillance monitor as the girls and Jackie chatted about her variety show, their favorite segments and what-not. This didn't happen as often as he felt it did, but seeing her deal with people who recognized her and valued her work was quite a sight.

She would never admit it, but working made her proud. Usually, she'd say she did it for the attention, but Hyde knew better.

Her mind kept repeating her thanks to the girls, who were now asking about her pregnancy. She gave them permission to touch her belly before they said their goodbyes, and they left Grooves with giggles even louder than when they'd entered.

Hyde returned to Jackie's side, cupped her face gently, and kissed her. She tasted like cherries, as she always did, but her gum had lost its flavor. She spat it in the garbage, and she went for his lips again.

This woman was everything. He was one lucky bastard to have her.

"You're looking at me that way again…" she said a few moments after they parted.

He laughed. Being accused of that didn't suck. "Yeah?" His gaze wandered her face and body. "How do you want me to look at you?"

Even big and slow, she was the most stunning girl he'd ever laid eyes on. Her arms welcomed him back, and he cradled her face and kissed her softly.

" _He's in love with me,"_ she said inside his mind, and he smiled in the kiss. His tongue caressed hers, and his hands landed gently on her belly.

Knowing their kid was growing inside her still amazed him. But she was capable of anything. Because loving someone like him, being his soulmate and a hell of a good host and producer, meant she could be pregnant and still look radiant as ever.

Her hair was longer than he remember it ever being. She'd let it grow after their wedding, ten months ago, and it was almost at her waist, wavy and shiny. Her skin was softer, her face clean. The pregnancy had settled perfectly in her, and he understood why Brooke and Laurie almost hated her for that.

Of course, her growing hunger and sudden mood changes were a bit of a nightmare. But Brooke and Laurie didn't need to know that.

He smiled at Jackie after their kiss. Her cheeks were pink, and just like that, he knew she'd heard his thoughts. Even after so long, she blushed at the way his mind rambled about her and what she meant to him.

" _You. You are wonderful,"_ she said inside his mind. _"I love you so much."_

"I love you, too." He kissed her forehead and she giggled. "Now, go sit down for a bit."

"But—" She pouted, fingers caressing his chest as if it were a kitten. "People love me here."

"Yeah, well, until we find a chair comfortable enough for you, I would _love_ you to be over there…" He turned her around gently and directed her to the store's listening pit. His idea was still a damn good one. Everyone liked it. "And sit for a while."

"Buuuuut…" She kept pouting.

"Man, you are cute," he said with a smirk. "I'll sit down with you after checking over some stuff, all right?

"Yay!" She pecked his lips and lumbered to the couch, slow and heavy.

He suppressed a laugh that would win him a shoe flung at his face. She sat down carefully on the couch, but her thoughts sparked in his mind: _"Oh, no! I left my magazine!"_

He arched an eyebrow, and his shoulders tensed. Her need was loud and clear, and brought the damn thing to her.

"Why did I hear that?" he said. "How could leaving a magazine on the counter be worth an extra thought inside my head?"

She blinked a couple of times and took the magazine from his hands. "You heard that?" she said. He nodded, and she blushed again. "Well … that's because I'm always happy with you, Puddin' Pop."

That long summer when they were younger came to mind. He sighed and sat beside her. His arm slid around her shoulders. She leaned back against him, and he laid his free hand on her round belly.

A few seconds later, she sucked in a sharp breath and giggled.

He looked at her. "What?"

"She's moving…" She giggled again. "Here … here." She moved his hand to the front of her belly. "She really likes you. She'll be a daddy's girl."

He didn't answer. His baby was moving inside her, under his touch, and then it kicked. Like many times before, he jumped a little before laughing. It always felt— _amazing_. He could only imagine how it must feel for her.

"It's wonderful," she said, and he laughed again. Every time the baby kicked, and he felt it, she could hear his thoughts. "Steven?"

He kissed her cheek.

"Are you happy?" she said, but the question sounded too familiar. And felt so easy to respond to.

"Yeah." He sighed, fingers playing with her hair. "Are you?"

She looked up at him, head resting on his shoulder. She nodded as their baby kicked once again, and she smiled wider than ever.

"I got there."

* * *

 **A/N:** As part of the Zenmasters Anthology moderators, I want to thank every participant and reader for our project. In the next months we will be announcing the second annual project that will be developed in the same dates with a new different set of prompts with a new theme.

I invite you to check out our tumblr under the zenmastersathology URL for more information, we will love to have more people with us for the second project!


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